Chosen Paths

So, do you ever catch a glance of someone from your past, and start thinking? I saw a few of those people in Magic Mart, tonight.

I saw Jeff, my best friend in high school. He was with his wife, and their son. That kind of thing used to be depressing to me. "Look at that! He's happy! Why can't I be happy?!" Or, "Everyone I went to school with is married, and have families now. What about me?!" Yeah... That's not me anymore... Good seeing Jeff, man! We go way back... Golly, 17 years! I've known him since before I had long hair! We met in 7th grade. I started growing my hair in the summer between 7th and 8th grade. Not many people have seen me with short hair, but Jeff has! Heh. I'm really proud of Jeff, and all he's done. I wish we wouldn't have parted ways. He'd be a good person to be in me life right now. I guess that's life, though. "Hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away." People come and go. Every once in a while, some will stay. Jeff, if you're reading this, by any chance, let's be friends again! I miss you, Brother. We had some great times together! I never had many friends. Still don't. Jeff was one of the few, the proud.

Secondly, I saw an old crush of mine. The girl from 2000 (cm). The one who got away. I was so crazy about her! I wish I wouldn't have been too shy to have asked her out. We could've had some good times together. She was with her boyfriend, tonight. She smiled, and waved at me, as if to say, "This could've been YOU with me, Junebug!" Oh well...

And last, I saw Todd. He used to work at Kmart with me. He was one of the first people to take me under his wing, and teach me the ropes there. So, he was in Kmart's old building, which is now Magic Mart. Full Circle.

Three sightings. The paths that led me to where I am today. There seems to be a lot of crossroads on the path I'm currently on. I never know from one day to the next where I'm going to end up.

Got my first Magic Mart pay check, today. Turns out that was a good move, after all. I'll be getting, like, $50 more a week. Still looking for something better, though.

Magic Mart plays Sirius radio all the time, by the way. Don't think I mentioned that before. They finally turned off the country channel, yesterday. But, now they're on the 70's channel. Hey, don't get me wrong, 70's rock is the best! But, the thing is, there was a lot of disco in the 70's... I heard a lot of Donnna Summer, and Bee Gees, yesterday.

I'm Lovin' This!

It's so cool to be a creature of the day again! Or, night, too, I guess... I'm working from 1-9 most of the time. I'm getting to enjoy plenty of daylight. Then, when I get off work, I usually go down to the floodwall, and do some night walking / star gazing. Good stuff, man!

Just watched the new Foo Fighters' video, "DOA." If you've not seen it yet, you should! Go to www.foofighters.com and click on media. I love all the Foo's videos. This one is really funny. Go! Be gone with you!

New Band?!?!

So, I'm sure you've noticed that there seems to be a lack of music in Cruel Music, nowadays. I can't even begin to remember when the last musical piece was released (according to the catalog, it was on November 3, 2002!!!) It's been a while, to say the least! I don't know what went wrong, man. My lack of free time killed my desire to make music. But, I've, suddenly, become inspired to write songs again. A lot of them are wimpy, little, "silly love songs." But, "What's wrong with that? I'd like to know. So, here we go again..." Yeah... Anyway, as it turns out, I know this bass player... So, kids, my gears are turning. I'm feeling very creative again, all of a sudden, and I think I might just have myself a bassist (and a singer?). Well... It's just a theory, right now. Just in the beginning stages. It'll probably be, like, a year, or something before you'll be hearing any new music from this band. But, just keep that in mind. It COULD happen! Heh. Oh, and I've recorded a couple songs on my own, by the way... Don't know where they'll end up, but they're on my computer right now. Maybe I'll make a new solo album, while we're waiting for this new band to form. Either way, there's got to be some MUSIC in Cruel Music! It's been too long!

Homecoming!

So... Day 5, I guess... Magic Mart is kinda weird. I don't think I'll stick around long. I mentioned that being in Kmart's old building would be like "coming home," for me. Well... Picture this... You go home one day, and find that "home" isn't anything like it was the last time you were there. The house is a different color, all of the furniture is different, and your family isn't there. Just a bunch of people you've never seen before in your life. But, this is something I had to do! It's like bungee jumping, or something. You'll never know what you're missing, if you don't jump. I needed out of the grocery store. I needed to prove that I wasn't afraid anymore. I needed to show the world that I can make a leap of faith when, and if, I decide to.

I've been changin,' but you'll never see me now...

I like that song. Don't know who it is. They play it on Octane all the time, but I've been listening to Left Of Center, lately. Weird music kinda fits in with my weird mood. Been listening to Nine Inch Nails a lot, too. Like, every day when I walk, I have some kind of NIN cd with me. I think I had "Pretty Hate Machine" every day last week. Awesome CD! Yeah, anger is cool... That cd helped me to realize that I'm angry.

So... Breaking news! I guess this would be a Cruel Music exclusive, since no one seems to like me anymore, and no one calls, or anything... So, here goes: I quit my job at the grocery store!!! Woo hoo, man!!! Liberation!!! Freedom!!! I'm working at Magic Mart (that's a low-budget, redneck version of Wal Mart, for those of you who don't know), now. Today was my second day. Yes, the job sucks almost as much as the grocery store did, but, hey, at least it's not the grocery store!!! GAWD, that was the worse job I've ever had in my life! I still can't believe I wasted 3 years of my life there! There were a lot of good people at the grocery store. I would almost consider them as being friends, if I only had friends... I'm going to miss them a lot. They taught me a lot about myself. I grew a lot there. But, I stopped growing, and it wasn't fun anymore. I hated being there more and more every day. So, that's how you know to get out of a job... More money, or any of that crap, isn't going to make you happy when you hate the job. Magic Mart seems like it'll give me some growth. We're moving the store up to my old Kmart store. It'll seem like going home, to me. Kmart was the coolest job ever!

Oh, happy birthday, Dad!

Audio Slaves

I ordered a book on Ebay, a couple weeks ago. Well, I thought it was a book. Turns out it was an AUDIO BOOK. I was kinda mad, at first. "What's this crap?!" I was going to send it back, but then I had a change of heart. I opened it up, and started listening to it. Turns out that audio books are the greatest inventions ever! I mean, who has time to READ? I know I sure don't! It takes me, like, 6 months to read a book. But, with this cool little audio book thing, I got it over with on the same day I got it in the mail, yesterday. So, for those of you who "dis" audio books, and say they're cheating, or whatever, you should give it a try sometime. Audio books rule, man!!!

Fashion Sense

Back to that beard thing, which I mentioned in the last post. I shaved about a week ago. The women I work with are all mad at me now, as a result. They keep saying that I looked good with a beard. That was kinda strange. A woman has never told me I look good, in the 29 years I've been here. Even more strange, the men are glad that I shaved. As if they were intimidated by me, or something. Heh.

So, if you know me, you know that I've never followed trends in my life. Never. It's just not my thing. Everyone says, "Cut your hair, you hippy! Long hair isn't in style anymore!" And, that's exactly why I have long hair! If everyone else had long hair, I'd cut mine. I don't want anything to do with trends. (It's funny, though, because I kinda look trendy right now, with my shaggy, short-like hair. That was not my intention. I just wanted my hair to all be the same length again.) Also, you may have noticed, almost every guy in America has a goatee right now. You'll never see me in a goatee, because of that fact.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is my beard, or lack thereof. The popular vote seems to be "Grow your beard back, Junebug!!!" So, I think what I'll do is, I'll grow my beard back. Kinda tease all the women with it long enough to shave it off again! I don't care what people think of me. I don't care if they think I'm "cute" with a beard. I don't care if they think I "look dirty." I'm not going to follow their rules. I'm not going to try to please anyone. I'm going to stir people up, as I've always done. So... The last time I shaved was Tuesday night. Let's annoy people again! It's fun!