Real-Life Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a Sweet Princess. This Sweet Princess was very sad and lonely. She had spent the last two years trying to find the man of her dreams, and was beginning to think that she would never find true love.

A few miles down the road, lived a lonely guy, who was also looking for the love of a lifetime. He had just came out of a very difficult relationship. The girl he liked left him for an evil drug lord, and ruined his life... The lonely guy was so sad! He was ready to give up on ever finding true love, because every time he thought he'd found a good girl, she'd end up hurting him.

Then, one day, the Sweet Princess found the lonely guy on the internet. It was love at first sight for her. She just KNEW that the lonely guy was the guy she'd been looking for all her life. She began writing letters to the lonely guy. The Sweet Princess would tell the lonely guy that she really liked him a lot, but, still hurting from his past failures, the lonely guy thought it was just a joke. "Surely no girl could ever love me!" he thought. But, the Sweet Princess would not give up. She kept telling the lonely guy, "I really love you!!!" Finally, the lonely guy's pain began to ease, and he opened his mind to the possibility that, yes, maybe he could fall in love, after all...

After writing to the Sweet Princess for about a month, the Sweet Princess called the lonely guy. Immediately after hearing her sweet voice, the lonely guy fell in love with the Sweet Princess. He knew this was true love at last! The two young lovers began talking on the phone to one another nearly every day. And, with every passing day, their love grew stronger and stronger. The two lovers quickly realized that they were soul mates, and were destined to spend their lives together. It took a while, but they finally got to meet, face to face, and on that day, they were never apart again. The Sweet Princess had found her Sweet Prince, and together, they lived happily ever after...

I'm in love with the girl I'm talking about....

Denise... Denise... Denise... Denise... Denise... Denise... Denise... Denise... Denise... <3<3<3

Update

I've been out of contact for a while. Been kinda busy with work, and stuff. This is mostly for old friends... I'm pretty sure everyone in the family knows by now... But, Mom has cancer again. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, last week. Third time she's had cancer! She's going to have a hysterectomy next Thursday, in Huntington. She's a tough lady. I know she's going to beat this again. But, your prayers would be appreciated. Many thanks! Hope to get back to writing y'all soon. It's been too long! I miss ya's!

I've been feeling more paranoid than usual, these last couple days. I thought I'd make a few minor changes, like delete my profile on MySpace, and maybe erase all of my personal information from the blog, and over at Cruel Music... But, the more I think about this, the more paranoid I'm becoming! Yeah... I'm going to go back to the stone age on this thing! I don't trust electronic devices, period. I'm going to change my internet provider, email address, and get my phone number changed. Sorry for the inconvience, and stuff... Things are pretty weird here. Anyone wishing to contact me can reach me at my postal address. That's the only thing I'm not going to change. Back to the Stone Age! Kinda sounds like a movie title...

Nevermind...

I must apologize to those of you wanting to hear my massive, brutal, aggressive songs. I never got around to recording those. Now I don't want to sing them, period, because the tide has changed. I'm not a very good actor. Never have been. So, I can't pretend to be angry, and sing those heavy songs with the amount of emotion and sincerity that they deserve, because that's all in the past now. I'm not bitter anymore. I've completely numbed my feelings toward those responsible for making me angry and bitter. I could care less about these people, so they don't deserve to have songs about them... Yeah, turns out I'm more interested in writing love songs, at the moment. I'm in the process of falling deeply in love, right now, and, I don't mind telling you, I've never been happier in my life! Thank you, Denise! <3

News (I think...)

Hey, All! Just wanted to make a little, itty, bitty note about what I've been up to lately... Yeah, there are still a select few people from my "old life," who don't hate me, and are still interested in my affairs, and stuff, and drop by here from time to time... I must say, again, that I'm really lovin' my *NEW* life, though, and the wonderful people I've surrounded myself with. They've been a real blessing, during these trying times. Thank you! Especially Denise! =) How great is she?! Wish y'all could know her. She's probably the sweetest thing I've ever encountered! A lot of love in the making, there! Heh heh. Making love... Or maybe I could sing that old 80's song, "Making love out of nothing at all..." Well, maybe not tonight...

Anyway... On the Cruel Music side of things... Believe it, or not, but I *AM* still writing new songs when I get the chance. And, given the events of these last few months, these lyrics are the most aggressive I've ever written in my life. Hey, I've got a right to be angry! I'm just choosing to deal with my anger, and bitterness, through my music. Create something positive out of these horrible experiences, you know? Yeah, leave it to failed attempts at love to bring about such creativity! Just keep in mind, the lyrics on this soon-to-be-released CD are not a reflection of how I'm feeling now. I haven't been this happy in over a year!

What's happening to me?!

God help me, I like a Static X song! Heh heh. It's called "Dirthouse." Have you heard this yet? Man, it rocks! Some other scarey notes: I like a Korn song, too. "Twisted Transistor." And, also, Limp Bizkit "Behind Blue Eyes." Man... I'm worried about myself now... Numetal?! Yikes!

WDN Chatters 801

Haven't done this for a while... I was bored, okay?! It's kinda looking like this is going to be the fate of WDN Chatters.

1. Spell your first name backwards: gubenuj.... What does that prove?! :P
2. Story behind your myspace name: Umm... It's my name...
3. What month were you born in? November
4. Where do you live? Right over there, USA. Heh.
DESCRIBE YOUR:
5. Wallet: It's black, it folds three times, it doesn't have any pictures in it (other than my driver's license), it has $80 in it, and a couple other things that I won't mention.
7. Toothbrush: It's red, and it's white, and it's the coolest thing I've ever owned in my life!
8. Jewelry worn daily: My guitar pick necklace.
9. Pillow cover right now: Blue, with some saliva on it.
11. Underwear: (What happened to #10?!) Sexy briefs.
12. Best friend: Died
13. Sunglasses: Kinda John-Lennon-like
14. Favorite shirt: My other one.
15. Cologne/Perfume: No thanks.
16. CD in stereo: Coldplay in my car, Aqualung in my bedroom, a compilation CD (Smashing Pumpkins, right now) in my computer.
17. Piercings: No. Never. You can't take me alive!
WHAT ARE YOU:
18. Wearing now: Jeans, as usual, and a baggy, orange shirt.
19. Wishing: World peace (note: I'm pissing in the other hand...)
20. Wanting: Love, acceptance, the ability to move on...
26. The last thing you ate: (someone really can't count! 20, 26?!) Pizza. It was good!
27. Something you are deathly afraid of: Death(?)
Do you...
28. Do you like candles: Not really, but I don't hate them, if that's what you mean...
29. Do you like the taste of blood: Heh. I tried that once. She liked it, but I didn't.
30. Do you believe in love: Yeah, but I still believe in Santa Clause, too, so that's not saying much.
32. Do you believe in soul mates: (Again, no #31...) Yeah... If you see her around anywhere, tell her I've been looking all over for her!
35. Do you believe in God: Yes I do. You can shoot me if you want, but I do.
(Big skip in the sequence here..)
43. What's something you wish you could understand better: Why a woman would rather be with a guy who's a worthless, drunken, druggie, jobless, racist idiot, than a guy who treated her like a princess... I'll never understand it. Could someone explain this to me?!
RELATIONSHIPS:
(maybe these next questions are important enough to make up for #44 and 45...)
46. How many people have you kissed? Oh, wow, let me think about it... There's just so many! Yeah... 2. I was tricked into it with both girls...
47. Are you shy around your crush? I have no crushes. I'm tired of wasting my time on that crap!
48. Still have feelings for anyone in a past relationship? No I don't. None.
49. Do you know what it feels like to be in love? I thought so. Then, I discovered that she was an evil, heartless crack-whore.
50. Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friend? No! I paid 30 bucks for my walkman! Screw you! I'm kidding... Of course I would!
FASHION STUFF:
51. Where is your favorite place to shop? Any music store.
(I give up... No #52...)
53. What is your favorite thing to wear? Socks.
54. What is a must have accessory? I have to wear a hat when I work... Does that count?
55. How much is the most you've ever spent in a single clothing store? 10, 15 dollars... Who knows?!
56. Who is the least fashionable person you know? Probably me.
57. Do you match your belt with your hair color? Always!
59. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Like, 10, or something...
60. What is the worst trend you see today? Pop music.
61. Do you do drugs? No. Unlike other people, I enjoy life.
62.What kind of soap do you use? Whatever...
63.What are you listening to right now? Jet. It's pretty cool, actually.
65. Who was the last person that called you? A telemarketer. I told him that I died.
66. Where do you want to get married? On the riverbank.
67. How many buddies are online right now? I have no "buddies." No... I'm lying again. I don't use MSN, or any of that stuff very often. I've got it closed / offline / whatever right now...
69. What are essentials in your life? People who aren't brewing up a diabolical plan to hurt me.
70. Do you send out holiday cards each year? *CHRISTMAS* cards, thank you.... And, yes, I do.
71. Hair right now: Kinda nappy. It hasn't been brushed in about 4 days.
72. mood: Over her.

Playing With Fire

This is one of my favorite stories of symbolism. Maybe I've told this story before, but who cares?!
...Babies are very curious creatures. They always try to get into something. There's usually an adult figure around to teach babies right from wrong, and protect them from things that will hurt them. Like, "Don't touch the stove, you'll get burned!" "Fire - hot -burn." Things of that nature... Maybe they'll try to touch the fire anyway, just to see if there's any truth to the warnings. So, the baby touches the fire, and, sure enough, it gets burned. Usually, one time will do the trick. The baby gets burned once, and learns to never touch fire again. But, sometimes it takes more than once. The baby might touch fire 2 or 3 times. Eventually, though, that baby is going to think, "Frig, that hurts! I'm never going to touch that again!" Well... That's kinda what has happened to me. I've been "burned" several times, lately. But, I've finally learned my lesson! I'm not going to "play with fire" anymore! It's a very liberating feeling, knowing that you will never hurt me again...

Adjusting...

So, I'm adjusting... I like my new life! It's fun, and liberating, and stuff... Betcher wondering what happened to my old life, huh? Me too!!! Well, as most of you know, I've been a hermit for the better part of 10 years now. I wouldn't socialize with anyone, I wouldn't go anywhere, I'd just stay in my room all day long. Well... In November, I discovered that there's so much more to life than being a hermit. "I got by with a little help from my friends," I guess you could say. My friends gave me a brand new, shiny SOCIAL LIFE. I had a lot of fun with my new-found life for a couple months. A LOT!!! But, all of a sudden, my shiny, happy social life was taken away from me. Oddly enough, it was taken by the same people responsible for giving it to me in the first place! I'm not mad, or anything. Just making a point. I'm very grateful for the opportunity to experience those 2 months of happiness. And, actually, I was expecting it to end from the very moment that it began. That's just my nature. I'm a very pessimistic person, and I always expect the worse of things. But still, even though I was expecting it all along, it still kinda left me in shock when it actually did end. I spent most of February trying to plot my next move. "Should I go back to being a hermit again?" "Should I find new friends?" Stuff like that... Anyway... I'm quite pleased to announce that I'M BACK!!! Yeah, man! I came to the conclusion that I shouldn't go back to my hermit ways, and that I should continue with the social life that was given to me. Pick up where we left off, or something... The thing is, no one really wants to be around me anymore, for whatever reasons. My friends sorta turned their backs on me, and left me here all alone. So... My solution for this little situation is that I have become an EXTREME HERMIT (patent pending...)!!! By that, I mean that I am doing the same types of things that I did when I had my brief social life... I'm just doing it alone now. Case in point:

On Friday night, March 10, I went to Logan, and watched a KICK ASS benefit concert, featuring local bands, ALL BY MYSELF. Sure, I might've looked like an idiot sitting there alone, but I HAD FUN!!!

And, last night... March 12... I went to Charleston, and saw my long-time heroes, MOTLEY CRUE, in concert!!! And, again, I was alone, but I had a blast!

Wish y'all could "be there" with me, as I embark on this new chapter. I'm having a lot of fun being an "Extreme Hermit." But, I guess you've got better things to do...

P.S. If there's anyone out there, reading this right now, I just wanted to say: If you don't like Motley Crue, there's something terribly wrong with you! They're STILL an amazing band!

Message In A Bottle

It's funny... I didn't want to go out with you 10 years ago, so why would I want to now?! Come on, man!!! Let it go already!!! Quit calling me, it's not funny! How old are you now, anyway? Like, 27? 28? Somewhere around there? Good Lord, you act like you're 12! I bet you had fun, last night, going to the trouble of setting up a fake profile on Yahoo Personals, just for your little "joke" on me, huh? I just don't get it... I mean, I'm the kind of person that'll laugh at just about anything, but GAWD, you're just retarded! I kinda wish I was still working at Magic Mart, just so I could confront you on this matter, but actually, I JUST DON'T CARE! You're wasting your time!

I don't think I'm finding many good ones... What's happening here?!






































Those are from 12-6-05...

Heh. Christmas 2005. I look so excited (in all of these)!















(With Dad up there ^ ...Turns out that he's a little camera shy, and requested that I remove his picture from here. I guess he doesn't like the idea of his picture being on the internet, where millions of people can see it every day... And Scruffy down here... She doesn't care who sees her picture. She's a trooper!)

Oh, wow! Here's a couple from one year ago, THIS VERY DAY! Check it out, it's when I had that mullet! Heh heh.







(Look, my car only had half of its "sticker mohawk.")

So... I think I'm getting ready to give online dating YET ANOTHER try! I'm thinking maybe it'd help if I'd post some pictures of myself this time (You think?!). So, I'm scanning a few pictures for my Yahoo Personals profile. How does this one look?

"Land Of Sunshine"

FAITH NO MORE

You have a winning way, so keep itYour future

You are an angel heading for the land of sunshine

And fortune is smiling upon you

Prepare for a series of comfortable miracles

From fasting to feasting

And life to you is a dashing bold adventure

So sing and rejoice

And look for the dream that keeps coming back

Your future

Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a handshake

Cuz everything is not yet lost
Does life seem worthwhile to you?

HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!

Yes, hmm hmm, now for the next question

Does emotional music have quite an effect on you?

Do you feel sometimes like age is against you?

Sing and rejoice and sing and rejoice

Yes, hmm hmm, that's interesting.

But tell me, do you often sing or whistle just for fun?

Do you feel sometimes like age is against you?

I, I can help - I can help you - I can help you help yourself!
Does life seem worthwhile to you?

HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!

Varicose

Comatose

Senile

I mean, where is it written that guys have to do all the work?! Why do GUYS always have to be the ones to ask girls out?! It's not fair, I tell you! Girls have it made! All they've gotta do is sit back, and watch one guy after another come along, and ask them out. Then, all they've got to do is just decide whether to go out with the poor sap, or lie to him, and tell him they have a boyfriend... Actually, I guess drugs make it easier for some guys. All these guys have to do is flash a bag of weed in front of a girl, and she'll be all over him. Then, once he has her hooked, like a fish, he just reels her in, and offers her all the coke, or pills, or booze that she'll ever need... Thus, this guy insures that he gets to keep the girl for as long as he sees fit. Then, after a while, he kicks her to the curb... But, that's another story for another day... What I'm talking about here, and now, is us poor shy guys, who DON'T do drugs. The NICE guys, who'll treat a girl like a princess, and idol the ground that she walks on, and love her, and respect her until the day he dies. For some strange reason, from my experience at least, girls nowadays don't WANT nice guys. They'd prefer to be treated like crap. They prefer low-life guys, who beat on them, or who go out with other girls... I just don't get it! Oh, but I'm rambling off-topic again...

GUILTY AS CHARGED!!!

Okay, so yeah, that was me, I admit it! That was *ME* that left the note on "Texas Girl's" windshield today. I'm shy, okay?! What else can I do, you know?! She's cute! I'd like to talk to her, but I don't really know how to start a conversation. Especially when both of us are walking with our headphones on. Heh heh. So, I stuck a note on her windshield, with my email address on it. I was, supposedly, going to remain anonymous, and be all mysterious about it, and stuff... But, then I realized, after I left, that the address I used is posted *ALL OVER* the internet! "Texas Girl" could *VERY EASILY* type it in on Google, or Yahoo, or something, and know INSTANTLY, who the weirdo was, who left a note on her windshield. D'oh!!! Oh well... Maybe she doesn't have internet access. Maybe she's not reading this right this minute. Maybe I'll be able to "get my wits about me" one day, and actually talk to her, using words, and stuff...

I just heard some disturbing news. Turns out that my picture is on the Internet! My source says that, apparently, "a friend" was the one who posted my picture like that, for the whole world to see. Man, how humiliating! It even tells where I work, and everything! Gawd, I feel so violated! I wonder what kind of website that could possibly be?! Blogger.com? MySpace.com? Or, heaven's to Betsy, CruelMusic? What's this world coming to?!

"Never Talking To You Again"

Foo Fighters

There are things that I'd like to say,
But I'm never talking to you again.
Things I'd like to phrase someway,
I'm never talking to you again.
Never talking to you again.
Never talking to you.
Tired of wasting all my time
Trying to talk to you.

I'd put you down where you belong,
But I'm never talking to you again.
Show you every way you're wrong,
I'm never talking to you again.
Never talking to you again.
Never talking to you.
Tired of wasting all my time
Trying to talk to you.
Talking to you...

I'm never talking to you again.
Never talking to you again.
Tired of wasting all my time
Trying to talk to you.

HAPPY valentine's day...

"Love Hate Love"

Alice In Chains

I tried to love you

I thought I could
I tried to own you

I thought I would
I want to peel the skin from your face
Before the real you lays to waste

You told me I'm the only one
Sweet little angel- you should have run
Lying, crying, dying to leave
Innocence creates my hell

Cheating myself

Still you know more
It would be so easy

With a whore
Try to understand me little girl
My twisted passion to be your world

Lost inside my sick head
I live for you but I'm not alive
Take my hands before I kill
I still love you, I still burn
Love, hate, love

"I'LL FOLLOW THE SUN"

The Beatles

One day, you'll look to see I've gone

For tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.

Some day you'll know I was the one.

But, tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.

And now the time has come, and so, My Love, I must go.

And though I lose a friend, in the end you will know. Oh, oh...

One day, you'll find that I have gone.

For tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.

Yes, tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.

And now the time has come, and so, My Love, I must go.

And though I lose a friend, in the end you will know. Oh, oh...

One day, you'll find that I have gone.

But, tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.

Okay... Now that I'm done chasing silly little pipe dreams, I can get back to business...

A while back, you'll remember, I was talking about the new Antiseptic Anxiety project. Well... I've been having some technical difficulties with my recording device (that nifty Zoom PS-04). Can't seem to get the music off the Zoomy, and on to my computer. Weird things... Now that I've got a little free time on my hands, I should be able to figure something out soon.

Been working on the new Cruel Music web site. Totally revamped, and rerocked, and restuffed with all sorts of cool effects, and whatnot. I'm digging it. Hope you's like. I'll be unveiling it Wednesday (It's the February tradition, ya know?), so be sure to stop by for that.

"THAT'S WHAT I GET"

Nine Inch Nails

Just when everything was making sense

You took away all my self-confidence

Now all that i've been hearing must be true

I guess i'm not the only boy for you

But that's what i get

That's what i get

That's what i get

That's what i get

How could you turn us into this?

After you just taught me how to kiss you.

I told you i'd never say goodbye.

Now i'm slipping on the tears you made me cry.

But that's what i get

That's what i get

That's what i get

That's what i get

Why does it come as a surprise

To think that i was so naive

Maybe didn't mean so much

But it meant everything to me

But that's what i get

That's what i get

That's what i get

That's what i get

So... Getting back to Cruel Music. 2006 should be a pretty promising year for Cruel Music. I have a lot of fun ideas floating around in my head. Planning some big, major things in terms of visual art. Not a lot of musical plans, but this is going to be a big year for video. Kinda following the seeds that were planted in 2005 (which saw an impressive FOUR video releases. Up from 2004's measly two releases, and 2003's one release). See, there's a whole new level of trust, and friendship brewing amongst the "Brotherhood," at work. Lots of respect to my friends at the grocery store! I'm kinda toying with the idea of, somehow, bringing them into Cruel Music, in some capacity. See, we're having a lot of fun there, these days. We've always joked around, and whatnot. But, since my triumphant return to the company, in November, we've just been flat-out HILARIOUS! A lot of funny things happening every day. It makes working seem like a pleasure. I really like it (a lot). So, we're trying to come up with a way to capture all of our nonsense at work on tape. Somehow. We haven't quite got the bugs worked out of that yet. It kinda makes sense to have some sort of hidden camera deal going. But, since comedy strikes at any given moment, at the grocery store, we'd probably have to keep the tapes rolling all day long. It's difficult, right now... But, this is some GOOD material, we're working on. I'm really having a lot of fun with it. All of it! The celebrities, the crazy customers, and the newly discovered art of messing with people in restuarants... Good Stuff!

Hey, hey! What do you say?

I don't even know what I was going to say, actually. I guess I'll just do some mumbo-jumbo-type of deal...

I think I'm getting sick. Who knows?! I've been saying that since, like, September, and it's just not happening. My throat feels weird, though. Really, it does! I promise!

So, I've been getting some interesting emails, lately, from some interesting people, from some interesting places all around the world. It's been fun. I likes the fun! I really hate forwards, though. I usually just delete them, without reading them. I'm sorry...

Tell me why my phone line has been down every other day for the last couple weeks...

It's been a wild ride, these last few months. I think I'm ready to retire, and just go back to being a hermit. Or, at least, just hybernate for the winter, or something. I really want to just be depressed, and hide from the world, in the safety of my room. Some certain people won't let that happen, though! ;P "I miss the comfort in being sad." I try my best to hate myself, but everyone keeps telling me how great I am, and it's making things difficult for me. It's kinda funny. Kinda ironic.

I think I'm getting sick... Heh heh. Actually, I think I'll go gargle some salt water. Thanks for believing in me. I really would like to join you, in your world, but I just don't think I belong there. Anywhere.

Happy New Year, Or Something!

Wishing y'all a very happy New Year. Hope you, and everyone you know, are doing well. I miss you. Give me a call sometime. I'm not a hermit anymore. I like to do stuff and things.

P.S. Don't know if you know my cousin, Hobie, but I want everyone out there to know that he is AWESOME!!! Hobie, if you're reading this, by some weird coincidence, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Friday night could have been deadly, if not for you. God bless you, sir.

Nice Forward From Uncle Tim

{I agree with this...}

==================

YOU CAN'T STEAL MY CHRISTMAS

I don't know who they are, saying I can't greet the crowd the way that I want to. Can't say CHRISTMAS out loud. I walk into a business place, see things that I rather not see, but dare I not say CHRISTMAS, and ask for a "holiday" tree. What happened to freedom of speech, and living in the land of the free? How can they take my CHRISTMAS money, but can't say MERRY CHRISTMAS to me? Men and women have given their lives so we could still go free. I wonder how they would feel at saying "HOLIDAY" TREE? Come on, AMERICA, let's wake up! Don't let our freedom escape. If they get by with doing this what else will they take? This is starting to get out of hand, and I've begun to keep track. Well, I've just about had enough. I'M TAKING CHRISTMAS BACK. So MERRY CHRISTMAS, AMERICA. I hope this gets all over the net. If we all stand united and take freedom back 'twill be our best CHRISTMAS YET!

Merry Christmas Everybody

That Insane Friday!!!

Goodness! How was YOUR Friday? Let me tell you, mine sucked!!! Actually... No, it was pretty fun, now that I think about it. Heh heh. It should've sucked, but it didn't. How weird is that?! It was a very full day. Not very productive, but full... I woke up around 8:20, I think it was. 8:20 in the A.M. I ate. I went to the floodwall for my daily freeze / torture / walk. 9:45, I went to the Post Office (Surprise, no mail for me!!! Sarcastic...) I came home. Checked my email (Surprise, no mail for me!!! Heh.) I watched "Quantum Leap." 11:15, I ate again (some deliciously tastey South Beach Diet Southwestern Grilled Chicken soft tacos. Two of them, and a small cup of cherry Jello. And, I never ate again the rest of the day. Didn't even get hungry... Weird...). 11:40, left for work. Had to stop at the bank, first, and then go to the liquor store to pick up Chris's usual 5th of Maker's Mark (every Christmas, this happens to me! I don't drink. I don't frequently visit the liquor store. Just every year for CHRIStmas. Chris.) 11:57, clocked on for work. Did the usual, there. Turkeys, chicken, hamburger, hams, all day... 4:55pm, lunch. I left a couple minutes earlier than planned, because work was so insanely busy I didn't want to wait for 5:00 to roll around. I left while I had a chance. So, "lunch." I didn't eat. I went to the mall with Chris. Bath & Body Works (first time I've ever been in there!), Dawhares, Peebles, and Magic Mart (for the second time since I quit working there. The first was, oddly enough, also with Chris. I felt really awkward being there the first time. Not as bad, today.) Oh yeah, then we went to WalMart. 6:05, back to work. Work, work, work... And, I didn't get off work until 11:58pm!!! I worked a 12-hour shift!!! Crap, man!!! I ended the week with 53.19 hours. Gotta be a world record, or something! Heh heh. So, if you're wondering why I haven't been in contact much this week, that's why. I worked myself silly! But, it was fun. That's the weird thing. Fun?! At Christmas time?! Christmas 2004 "broke me," and made me lose the will to work any longer. I started job-hunting in January 2005, as a result. I didn't find any jobs, of course, and the rest is, as they say, history... CHANGES, BABY!!! This time last year I was miserable because of work. This year, my normal life kinda has me miserable, and I look forward to working to escape... I'm pretty confident that the future will be better, but, as I said a couple posts ago, I'm living in the present tense now, and I'm not worried about the future anymore... Because I know it's going to be awesome. Betcha didn't know I was psychic, did you? Yeah, there's a lot you don't know! Ummm... Yeah.... Anyway... So, it's 1am now. I have to wake up for work at 6am. Working back on my normal, early hours next week. 7-4 tomorrow... Lunch at 12... And, the beat goes on... Smile for me. I'm happy being with my friends. It's fun to have friends again. I'm happy?! Wow! Yeah, I think so... Hope your world is as fun as mine. Funner, actually. I'm just easily amused. Maybe my world seems boring to you. Who knows?! But, yeah, smile. Be happy. Be thankful. Love. Yeah, I can't wait for the future. It's going to be great! But, the present tense ain't so bad...

Ever heard of MySpace.com? It's a pretty cool place to be. A friend introduced me to it. I've been hanging out there more than I have here, lately. I've sent everyone I know email-thingies, inviting y'all to sign up. Not many takers on that, for some reason... Come on, people! Get with it! I need more friends there! I've only got 11 right now. Most people have, like, a gazillion, or something.

Ever mail a letter, and then, after you drop it in the box, think, "Man, I shouldn't have mailed that!," because you said some pretty dumb things in the letter? That's happened to me twice, lately. I mean, letter #1 was dumb, you know? And, I tried to correct the dumbness of that letter, in letter #2, yesterday, and, I think, I probably did more damage than good... Can we just pretent like I never mailed either one of those letters? You know, the one in August, before I went to Myrtle Beach, and the one yesterday... That would be nice... It's just... I don't know! I can't find the words to say! I don't know whether to be bubbling with joy, or if I should just jump off a cliff... Wasn't there a lame 80's movie, where this guy mailed a letter like that, and then he tried to beat the mail truck to his girlfriend's house, and steal the letter from the mail man, so his girlfriend wouldn't see how lame he was? Remember that one? Andrew McCartney, I think... I could TOTALLY do that, you know? Thing is, the letter has a pretty good head start on me, now. I estimated that the letter would arrive in her hands by Friday. What if it gets there tomorrow?! I don't know... I mean, I feel weird! Why can't I just feel like I have always felt, for the last 11 years? Why do I always feel like I'm embarrassing myself now?! Why can't I just be myself?! It's weird, man...

I'm not exercising enough!

I'm listening to some Mexican music, right now. Chingon. Makes me feel better. Happy music.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!!!

Dumb Dream #1

Okay, it's official, now. I'm OFFICIALLY a weirdo! I had the stupidest dream EVER, last night. I dreamed that I was asked to drive a school bus. Take the kids to school, you know? I don't know what happened to the regular bus driver. I was just walking down the road (at the railroad crossing to be exact), and there was a school bus sitting there, full of kids. My dad was there, for some reason. He's the one that asked me to drive the bus. I was like, "Dad, why don't YOU drive it?! I don't even know how to drive a stick!" He said, "Oh, there's nothing to it. Go ahead, and take these kids to school. It'll just take you a few minutes." I paused, and looked at him kinda confused. Then, he snapped at me (as Dad tends to do, with his short temper, and all), "Hurry up, you're going to make them late for school!" So, I drove a school bus full of kids to school. I did a pretty good job at it, actually. Maybe that's a sign from God, or something... "Go forth, and drive school buses. Let not ye waste ye time working at the grocery store." Could be...

19 Days Later...

For the first time in a VERY long time, I'm living in the present tense. For the longest time, I've not been able to do that. Am I making sense? What I'm saying is, I used to always be thinking about the past... "The Good Old Days" of 1992, or whatever. I'd be all depressed, and stuff, thinking, "Woe is me! If only life could be as good as it used to be!" You know, there's that, and the future, too. Yeah, I used to spend my time either living in the past, or the FUTURE. Not that I'm trying to be all Sci-Fi, or something. I'm serious! I'd spend my days day-dreaming about what's going to happen. What might happen. What could happen. Crap like that. So, yeah, I'm living in the PRESENT TENSE now, for a change. And, I'm loving every minute of it! I appreciate the past, and all, but I don't need to live there anymore. And, I could care less about the future. Whatever happens will happen for a reason. NOW is good. Oh, man, now is SOOO good!!! I'm extremely grateful. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?! WEST SIDE, Y'ALL!

Hey, I've not blogged for a while! I'm all sleepy, and stuff. I should've went to bed an hour ago. Big day of fun planned for tomorrow. I should rest, actually... I'll blog later. Oh, yeah, my wrist is doing better now.

Attack of the One-Armed Man

I screwed my left wrist up, yesterday, at work. I did it at work, but it's not work's fault. Mom thinks I should report it, and whatnot, but, hey, these things happen! I mean, if the store sign, out front, would've fell on my wrist, or something, then yeah, I'd probably report it. But, the thing is, I was weighing hams, as I tend to do this time of year. My wrist popped out of place. And, it just kinda KEPT POPPING EVERY FIVE MINUTES after that. So, I'm sporting this big, black brace on my wrist now. I kinda like the attention. People keep saying, "What'd you do to your wrist Junebug?" You know, those people who pretend to be concerned... Heh. But, yeah, I'm going to be in this thing for the next week or so. I took it off, a few minutes ago, to wash up, and it popped immediately. Big fun pain! Funny thing is, my right wrist has been giving me trouble for the last couple weeks. It was feeling better, yesterday, and then I hurt the left one! Hilarious, huh? Hey, at least I can still play my guitar, so it's not THAT much of a bother.

I had a little spur-of-the-moment road trip up to Fostoria, OH, yesterday. One of my uncles died, Monday. My dad's oldest brother, Edgel. He was 83 years old. He'd been sick for the last couple years, so it's good that he's not suffering anymore, and he's in a better place now. Wish I would've known him, he lived a very full, and fruitful life. He would've been fun to have in my life, as I was growing up... Anyway... All along, my dad was saying that he didn't want to go to the funeral. All of a sudden, yesterday, around 1:00, he declared that he was going to go. Only problem there is that he doesn't know how to drive anywhere! So, he called 2 of his sisters, Martha, and "10," told them to get ready to go, because I was going to drive the 3 of them to Fostoria for the funeral. Heh heh. Dad's weird like that. So, I drove up them there... A 7-hour trip from Chatty... In my mom's car... Supposedly, it has more room in it than my car does. I can't see it, though. I was CRAMPED in that little thing, man! The whole thing was very rushed. We got there around 10, last night, I made a phone call (last time I'd ever talk to her... Had I known that I would've said more), woke up this morning, ate breakfast with Uncle Jim, went to the funeral, and came back home -- in a nice little snow storm. INSANITY!!! I wish I would've had more time to prepare the trip. It would've been nice to have seen some sights, and stuff. I could've even looked up my old pen pal, Dea, while I was in town. Even though we haven't been in touch for the last 7 or 8 years, or something. It still would've been cool to have met her. But, hey, I guess you don't really have time to plan things when it comes to funerals... All in all, it was a pretty nice little trip, though.

Hey, ever have one of those days? You know... THOSE days. A day when a big event happens, and you suddenly realize, "Man, this changes EVERYTHING!" It's very exciting. This day, for me, started Friday night... On my 30th birthday, of all days! And, the significance of this day continuted into last night (Speaking in terms of these Earth-shattering days, they tend to last longer than normal, 24-hour cycles.). And, even more today! The dark clouds are lifting. It feels good! It's fun to start to have a social life again!

Oh, and I'm learning to appreciate the art of coffee. =)

Sleepy, man...

I'm going to try something out of character. I'm going to start living! I'm going out for a night on the town, with "Brother" J.R., tonight. Should be interesting.

But, I'm so friggin' sleepy, man!

Another "new year's resolution," of sorts... I decided to take another stab at online dating, last night... I don't know... Maybe, huh?

Man, why am I so sleepy?!

I slept good last night, by the way. Fixed my box springs, I think. I've had this cramp in my neck, for the last 4 or 5 days, though. I slept on it all wrong, the other night, while trying to ease the pain in my back. I can't seem to get this cramp worked out, and it's getting annoying.

I think I'll take a short nap...

30 Going On 90

Today is my 30th birthday. Exciting, no? Ummm... Happy birthday, me! I feel like I'm about 90 years old. My back has been killing me for the past couple weeks. Today seems to be the most painful. I couldn't figure out what was happening to me. I mean, I'm "only" 30. I shouldn't be in this kind of pain. I exercise, and crap, all the time. I'm HEALTHY, except for the whole bad heart thing. So, I got to thinking, "What is this all about?!" Well... Turns out that there's a GOOD POSSIBILITY that it's my matress box-spring. The thing is lumpier than... Well, a big pile of lumps, or something. I'm going to play around with it some, and see if I can't invent a way to sleep comfortably tonight. Wish me luck.

In other news, I sold my first Ebay item, last night. It's very exciting! I've been registered on Ebay for almost 7 years now. I always used it to just buy things, you know? About a year ago, I decided, "Hey, I can use this as a tool for making some extra money!" So, I tried to sell a few old VHS tapes. Turns out that no one wants VHS anymore... Then, I tried to sell a green crayon. That didn't work, either. I don't know if people would prefer to have a whole set of crayons, or what went wrong there... But, last night, I sold a book! I'm now $8.74 richer. AWESOME!

Hope everyone out there had a nice Thanksgiving, yesterday. I guess mine was okay. I was pretty sore, as earlier noted. It was cool to get to spend some time with my grandparents, without any interruptions, though.

Looks like I'll be spending most of today hanging up Christmas decorations. Going to see a movie with Mom, later. Then, I might go to the gym, or something. Pretty typical day. Back to work, tomorrow. The beat goes on...

"Breaking My Heart"

Matt Hales... Aqualung

Need to know
I don't want to know
Already know
I've seen the signs
I watch you as you pull yourself away from me

Can't believe
Want to believe
How can I believe
When you make me doubt
I thought I knew you
I don't even know myself

I'm losing faith, I'm losing all faith

You're breaking my heart
Breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart again
Don't ask me to start
Ask me to start
Don't ask me to start again
Start again

Want to fight
Afraid to fight
Why don't I fight and make you see
I hold my breath
And disappear inside myself

I'm losing strength, I'm losing all faith

I'm losing you
I'm losing you

---------------------

(Man... I'm telling you, that dude can write songs! I think I'll order the other Aqualung CD. I love that sad-like music!)

Who Is Dwight Yokam?!

Okay... Forgive me for my lack of music knowledge here. I mean, I'm a musical freak, I should know these things. But, apparently, there is a country music singer by the name of Dwight Yokam. I hate country music, but I hear things, you know? Well... There's this weird thing... This old man used to come into the grocery store all the time, and say, "You look just like Dwight Yokam! I'm going to bring you a cowboy hat one of these days." He'd do this shtick every time he'd see me. So... When I worked at Magic Mart, this guy I worked with looked at me one day, and said, "Man, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you look just like Dwight Yokam. I swear, if you had a white cowboy hat on, I wouldn't be able to tell y'all apart." So, I kinda nervously said, "Thanks, man." Okay... So, today, it happened AGAIN! I was on my way to my car, and Phillip the "Heiners Bread Man" said, "Hey, Buddy. My wife wants to know if you're any relation to Dwight Yokam? She said you look just like him." What is this crap, man?! Okay... So... Let's settle this thing, once and for all... What do YOU think?

My official movie of the moment is "The Weather Man." Yeah... Maybe I'm cheating, since Nicolas Cage is my favorite actor, but, really, it IS a good movie. I like that movie, man! That's the movie I saw yesterday. Probably not the idea movie to take your mom to, but, hey, what can you do? Anyway... Go see that movie now. Thank me later.

Last known photo...



Got this yesterday. I like the nifty, new WV license design. They change it, like, every 5 years now. That kinda sucks. Hey, some people are into that kind of thing, though...

Hey, according to my "dashboard," this is my 100th post. I guess this calls for a celebration, or something, huh? So... Go ahead, and celebrate.

As you know, I've been going through this weird, transition sort of thing, these last couple months. I think the transition is almost complete now. Last night was sorta, like, a new beginning for me. I like last night. What a great night last night was! I went to the big rock show with Brother Roger, and his wife, Nora. 3 Doors Down, man!!! Yes, sir!!! What an awesome band!!! I've always liked their CDs, and stuff, you know, but seeing them live was a real treat! AWESOME band, there. I had a great time!!! Shinedown, the opening band, are not so bad, either. I really like Shinedown! Good night. Cool night. Awesome night. God bless Brother Roger. God bless Nora. God bless little Aaron, who I've yet to meet. God bless Shinedown. God bless 3 Doors Down. God bless "ROCKY!!!" It feels good to re-discover what's really important in life. I think I'm done with my anger, and bitterness, and whatnot. I'm starting to feel happy again. I don't think the transition will be complete until I can get out of my office job, though. Yeah, I'm still working there part time, while I'm working at the store the other part of the time. But, getting back with my friends has done wonders for me.

New Antiseptic Anxiety!!!

Antiseptic Anxiety entered the studio, today, to record their first album in nearly 4 years. The band is showing signs of evolving drastically since their other 2 albums. But, with song titles like "Dead Rat," "Sugar On The Table," and "I Had To Fart," long-time fans of the band will not be disappointed. Three songs were recorded on this historic day. The new CD, which is still untitled at the moment, should be completed in a couple weeks. More updates soon...

Hey, believe it or not, I finally figured out how to operate my Zoom PS-04 digital recorder thing! Actually, some nice folks in a message board told me how to do it. I read the instructions, like, 50 times, and wasn't getting anything out of them. So, anyway... YESSSSS!!! New Cruel Music coming soon. Very soon. Sooner than you might think. Really. Wow. Now I'm all nervous! And, I'm not in the mood to record any of those "silly love songs" anymore. Maybe I'll just write something else... Something nice and aggressive! Stay tuned...

Hey, who needs a digital camera?!

You know what I hate the most about this office job? I'M NOT GETTING ENOUGH EXERCISE! I didn't even notice it, man, but, the other day, Steve said, "You're getting too used to sitting on your ass all day, and you're getting fat," or something along those lines. So, I went home, looked in the mirror, and, by golly, Steve's right! I'm getting fat! Like the latter-days Jim Morrison, or Elvis, or something. Am I dying? Hmm... The weird thing is, I haven't really gained any weight. I've been 180 for the last 4 years. Now, I'm 184. What the crap, huh?! So, yeah, going back to the grocery store will be a good thing! I get plenty of exercise there! Actually, I'm going to start going to the gym, when the weather gets worse. "Citi Gym," as they call it. You're welcome to join me there, you know? I think "Brother JR" is going to start going with me, when I start going. My gut... Man... Wish I had a digital camera! I'd post a picture of this thing! I look like an Ethopian, or something. All bony, and stuff, but with a huge gut. What's happening to me?!

Hey, yeah, I like The White Stripes, too. There's actually a few new bands out that I like! Wow! I'm in shock! I guess the White Stripes are about 5 years old, though, so that's not so new. Gorillaz, and Coldplay, too... Wow. Maybe I *DON'T* like new bands, after all.

I think I've heard "Monster Mash" enough today, thank you... Has Halloween ALWAYS been this cheesey?

That's funny! Listening to Faction, on my way home from my nightly stroll along the floodwall, and they started playing "Black Number 1," by Type O Negative. It's still on, right this minute. I know, because I'm listening to it on my computer now! It's cracking me up. First time I've smiled all day... All month, maybe... Type O Negative. Heh. GAWD, this song is still on!!! I can't believe I used to like Type O Negative, back when that CD came out. Hilarious! Me and Peanut used to really get into them, man. We actually covered this song, "Black Number 1," a few times in Emanon. FUNNY STUFF! Randy is all into them, still. "Dude Randy," as Kmarters know him... Type O Negative. Man... These guys are horrible!

Hey, Happy Halloween, by the way. I saw this girl, dressed up like the girl from "The Ring," on my way home, while I was listening to "Black Number 1. (Oh wow! Song change! The Misfits. "London Dungeon." Faction is having this big Halloween music marathon. I think the Hair Metal channel is, too. Music is so dumb, sometimes...). Anyway, I think the "Ring" girl had the best costume. I saw this one dead cheerleader. That was sorta cool, too.

I missed the White Stripes concert on Left Of Center, last night. I was too sleepy. The concert didn't start until 11. I was long gone by that time. Out cold. I went to bed at 9.

How great is Tom Green?

I'm a few steps closer to learning how to use my Zoom PS-04. Yeah, I've had the thing for, like, 3 weeks now, or something. I've not been inspired enough to use it, so I haven't even took the time to learn how it works. Life sucks.

You know... Some people seem to be against the idea of my decision to return to the grocery store. I've tried to explain things the best way that I can, with my limited understanding of human vocabulary, and all. I don't know how I can make it any clearer. 1- I don't like office work. 2- I don't have insurance at my office job. 3- I don't have vacations at my office job. 4- I was making more money at the store(Yeah... I *KNEW* that would get your attention! MONEY!!! YEAH!!! EVERYONE LOVES MONEY, RIGHT?! That's what life's all about, MAKE AS MUCH MONEY AS YOU CAN!!! It'll give you better status in the afterlife!). 5- I'm not happy at my office job (Not that I'm a happy person to begin with, but when you work at a job you hate, you get even MORE depressed. Trust me.) 6- I was appreciated at the store. I had friends there. I had people I could depend on, if I ever needed a shoulder to cry on. Yeah, they're always available for me. They have time for me. Yeah, so the work gets aggravating sometimes. So what?! It's not like there are any better jobs around here... And, since I'm doomed to spend the rest of my miserable life HERE, I might as well make the most of it! So, for those of you, who think I'm crazy for leaving my "nice office job," do me a favor... BITE ME!!! You don't have ANY idea what it's like! Now. =)

In related news... I'll be back at the groecery store FULL-TIME, starting Saturday. My last week of the office job... Wooo Hooo!!!

Don't know if you've ever been held hostage... I would certainly hope not... But, that's kinda like me. It's nothing new, really. I've BEEN held hostage since... Well, a while now. I was fond of tracing it back to, like, June, but now that I think about it, I've been held hostage since around 1999. Somewhere around there. Yeah, that's about right. Imprisoned. I had a chance to escape in July. I'm glad I didn't, now, in hindsight. I'll get out one day. I swear!

Anyway, just back back from Matewan. I don't know what it is, but that little town always fills me with soothing vibes. I like to go there when I'm troubled, and confused about life. For some reason, Matewan makes me feel better. Maybe it's because it's such a tiny place, and it's on its last dying breath of life, or something. I'm glad it made me feel better tonight. I needed it, man! It was nice to see the stars on such a clear night, too. I was afraid I'd go all the way over there, and not feel anything (I didn't feel anything the last two times I went there. Some people just don't get it, I guess.)

Umm... It's funny when you think you have everything figured out, and then, come to find out, you don't! Like when... Oh, nevermind... But, let me just say, trust is not an easy thing to earn, with me...

And, for that matter, COLDPLAY, too. I've heard 3 or 4 Coldplay songs, and I love them all. Does that make me weird? Is it weird to like Coldplay, Gorillaz, and System of A Down? Hey, yeah! I like Aqualung, too! Ever heard Aqualung? Man, can that dude write songs! Aqualung. Yeah... I think Aqualung is my favorite! Music has sucked for too long! Like I said, ever since 1995, it's like they just quit trying, or something. But, over the last couple years, it's making a big comeback. I think. Does 4 good bands qualify as being a "big comeback?"

In related news, I'm going to see 3 Doors Down with Brother Roger, on November 6. I like 3 Doors Down, too. That should be big fun! It's been too long since I've got to hang out with Roger.

...Not only that, but I also like Gorillaz. Yeah... There! I said it! I've only heard two of their songs, actually... "Clint Eastwood," I think it's called, and "Feel Good Inc." And, let me tell you, these songs make me FEEL GOOD!!! Don't know why, really... I'm kinda serious about this, though. I think I'll buy a couple of their CDs. I've been putting it off for a while, because I know that every "new" band I've discovered since 1995 has let me down. I think I'm going to try Gorillaz out, man. It's not very often that good art comes along. When did System of a Down come along? 2001? Oh, okay. Nevermind.

Umm... Yeah, I still have 2 jobs. 3, if you count Ford. But, I'm on a leave of absense with him, so I guess that doesn't count.

Job 4

Okay... So, maybe I was wrong. MAYBE. I'm rarely wrong, by the way, but when I am, I'm man enough to admit it. I was WRONG, so wrong! Wrong on a couple matters, actually. But, today, I'm only going to discuss one with you (because I'm still just a LITTLE hopeful that I'm wrong about being wrong on the second matter...).

You might have noticed a strange darkness looming over my last few posts. Discussing work, and whatnot. Those of you with a keen eye, or those who know me, or whatever, probably thought, "Man, Junebug's not happy at all these days!" And, you would be right. It's this whole job-thing, you know? I got frustrated, working at the grocery store. I was there for 3 years, and I started thinking, "I don't want to work here for the rest of my life!" So, I went out, searching for a change. SOMETHING to clear my head. I think I was having a midlife crisis, or something. I jumped on the first job opening I saw. Magic Mart. I, obviously, wasn't happy there. I only stuck around for 16 days. So, I went to this office job. Thing is, I wasn't happy there, either. I felt nervous all the time, like I was on the verge of screwing up some important documents, or something. And, then there were times when I'd just sit there, for hours at a time, with nothing to do... The grocery store might have been a little aggravating sometimes, but I was happy there! I had benefits. I had a two-week, paid vacation. I had friends. I knew how to do my job! So... Thursday, I was sitting there at my desk, wondering, "What the crap am I going to do, man?! I can't go back to the store now. It's too late. I'd be starting all over again from the bottom of the ladder. Part time. No benefits. No vacations." Then, as if by a sign from God, the phone rang. It was my store "Brother," Steve!!! He, basically, asked if I was happy there, in my office, and stuff like that. Then, he said something VERY interesting: "You know, you can come back here (at the store). You've not been terminated yet. You can come back with your full benefits, vacation, and everything. It'd be like you never left." I told him I'd think about it. But, there was really nothing to think about. A "No-Brainer," as the yuppies say. I went to the store the next morning, and told Jenny (the office lady) not to send my termination papers in, because I'M COMING BACK! Everyone tried to tell me that I was making a huge mistake, by quitting the store. I just wouldn't listen. I had to find out the hard way. So... This created a delimma. What about my office job?! I, nervously, told my boss. It was clear that I was a broken man... I told him that I'd stick with him for a couple more weeks, until he finds a suitable replacement. I have a lot of respect for him, and he's been really good to me in the time I've been there, so I wouldn't have it any other way. Yes, that meant 2 more weeks of being miserable, and nervous, and whatnot, but it won't be so bad, because, in the mean time, I'm going to work at the store a couple days a week. Just to keep me in the payroll system, and stuff. So, I'm hoping the happiness of being back with my GROCERY STORE FAMILY will kinda balance out the depression of being in that office. My first day back at the grocery store was yesterday. It felt SO GOOD! Everyone had a million questions for me, as if I'd been away on some distant journey, or something. And, in a way, I was! I told Steve something, jokingly, about my experiences... But, I was actually dead serious, if that makes sense. Heh. I said, "I've been trying to find myself. Soul searching. I couldn't find me anywhere!" And, that's very true. I feel horrible about the office job, and I'm truly sorry for my boss there, because I wasn't the person he thought I could be. But, if you're not comfortable at a job after 2 weeks, there's a good chance you never will be, and you'll probably just make things worse by staying. So, I'm very sorry. It just didn't FEEL RIGHT. At the same time, I'm VERY grateful for Steve, and the folks at the store for giving me a second chance. I've never felt so good about going to work, as I did yesterday, at the store. Yeah, it's frustrating sometimes, but I didn't know just how good I had it there, until I left. I have a whole new appreciation for my job now. As I told my grocery store pals, yesterday, "I went out into the real world, and I didn't like it a bit." I'm HOME! So, what if I DO end up working there for the rest of my life? Well... Maybe that's not such a bad thing. It definitely beats the alternative!

I fought the law and the law won

Hey crew! Hey homies! How was your weekend? Mine was weird. But, it had a happy ending. Ummm... I guess I'll tell you about it from the start, huh?

Friday night, the official beginning of the weekend, was lame. I worked for Ford. That always sucks. He was watching the news when I first got there. I heard the news people talking about "Bridge Day 2005." I've been tempted to make the trek up to Fayetteville for the last couple years, just to see what all the hype is about. I did it again this year. The event started Saturday morning. I was itching to go, man. Then, I started thinking that the whole thing, Bridge Day, would be over-run with jocks. So, I didn't go again this year. I bet there was a lot of jocks there, though. I hate those guys! Supposedly, 200,000 people attended. Probably, like, 175,000 of them were jocks. I bet. I just bet! So, yeah, maybe next year... Kinda wish I would've went, now, looking back, in hindsight, and all...

My Saturday was really bad! I was on my way down to the floodwall for my evening walk. And... Well... Something very lame happened. I got a speeding ticket! Heh. Yeah, me! You read that right! Those of you who have road around with me know that I drive like a granny, and I always do the speed limit. But, for some dumb reason, I wasn't doing the speed limit Saturday. The cop clocked me in at 48 mph, in a 35 zone... I still say I was doing 46! Heh. And, well, the little turd gave me a TICKET. The only ticket I've ever got in my life! (A lot of firsts for me, this year....). He said he was just going to write me a "little citation." He gave me the ticket, told me to slow down and have a nice evening, and went on about his merry little way. I looked at the ticket, and saw... $335!!! Yes, THREE HUNDRED, THIRTY-FIVE DOLLARS!!! What is that crap?! I was a little mad, to say the least... Had I went to Bridge Day, I wouldn't have got that ticket.

Sunday was better, though. I took myself a little walk, just to clear my head. I walked up on the Hatfield and McCoy trail. I was questioning my place in the universe, and stuff... Thinking maybe that my goal in life should be to stand up against ABUSE OF POWER. What with my brush with the law, and my hatred for the power-mongers at Magic Mart, and the fact that I hate society's rules, and, and, and... But, then, I changed my tune. It sounded a lot like, "All You Need Is Love." Heh heh. Yeah, I remembered how artificial all that crap is, and how love is all that matters, so I changed my mind. I guess I'll just have to learn to live with society's rules for a while longer, because I don't feel like fighting. I just want to... Well, you know... Love...

Today was strange. It wasn't, technincally, the weekend, but I guess I should mention it. I got my notary public, today. Yeah... How weird is that? I had to be sworn in, and everything! So, if you have any important documents that need to be notarized, don't hesitate. I'm your huckleberry! Heh.

When I was little, everyone would ask me, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" My answer was always the same... "I don't know." They'd look at me, in disbelief, and then laugh nervously, and say, "Oh, you'll figure it out. You've got plenty of time." I still don't know what I want to be... And, I DON'T have plenty of time anymore...

I REALLY think I should persue this thing, you know? It's kinda eating away at me now. I felt this back in June, but I dropped it to chase a dream. Now may be the time to pick it back up.

Appreciate your concern, you'll always stink and burn... I'm not really mad. I'm just mad that everyone can see right through me. I used to be able to hide my emotions, you know? I'm a very private person. I like my pain to stay private. I don't like it when people see me crying.

Hey, is it me, or does System of a Down really rock? I'm really likin' 'em, man! They remind me so much of Faith No More it's silly. Faith No More were (and still are) one of my favorite bands, by the way. Really love the Faith No Mores!

Work tomorrow... Man... Wish I wasn't so weak, or else I'd fight the good fight myself. People shouldn't have to work! It's not right! I guess some people don't have to work, because of Columbus Day. Dad, you just don't know how lucky you are...

I'm going to bed. I have to work twice tomorrow, actually. Ford is back in the picture. What fun! So, I should rest. (But, since they're playing "Pretty Noose" on Octane right now, I'll stick around for a minute...) .

Slavery

Jim Morrison said it best. "You're all slaves! Letting people control you, and push you around!" It's so very true. I wish we had someone like that today, who could get the message across. It really doesn't seem fair at all to me. We work a third of our lives away. What is the point?! What does it accomplish?! Money?! Come on, man! Money isn't everything! Shake things up a little bit! Yeah... I make a good spokesperson, huh? All I've been posting about, lately, is my job... It's all so artificial, man! Society's rules are so screwed up! Why do we have to work?! That isn't what life is about at all! I've been screaming this to the top of my lungs for the last 10 years. It isn't that people don't believe me. They just need a little guidance. We need someone like Jim Morrison! Where are all the good rock stars? Why can't we have another John Lennon? Someone who's going to tell us the truth: "Love is all you need." It sucks!!! We go to work every morning, and do the same tired routine. Work, work, work... We look forward to the weekend. Two days off! No work for two days! What's the point?! We've just got to go right back Monday, and start the process all over again!

LOVE IS THE ANSWER!!!!!

NOT MONEY!!!!

END SLAVERY NOW!!!!

Wish I Would've Wrote This....

"Beside You In Time"

Nine Inch Nails

I am all alone this time around.

Sometimes on the sides I hear a sound.

Places parallel I know it's you.

Feel the little pieces bleeding through.

This goes on, and on, and on....

Now that I've decided not to stay.

I can feel me start to fade away.

Everything is back where it belongs.

I will be beside you before long.

This goes on, and on, and on...

We will never die.

Beside you in time.

------------

(It fits perfectly! I've been paying attention to a lot of lyrics, lately. I never was much on lyrics, actually. It was always about the music for me. But, sometimes I'll pick up on something, like "Beside You In Time," and I go, "Hey, wait a minute! That sounds like what I'm feeling!")

Let The Games Begin!

So, as you may have guessed by now, I've been on a bit of a quest, lately. A quest of self-improvement, and whatnot. So, after months, I finally have my head on straight again. I'm ready to take on the world. I think I'll probably win, too. But, that's besides the point. What is the point, you ask? Behold:















Maybe you're wondering, "What the crap is that thing, Junebug?" Well, then, I'll tell you. That thing is what's going to bring Cruel Music back to life! That thing is a digital recorder, the likes of which is used to record MUSIC. Professional-sounding music! Onto Cds, even! My very own portable studio, if you will. As I said before, I've been writing a lot of new songs, but I've not been recording very many, because my recording abilities are limited. Well, NOT ANYMORE! I bought this baby on Ebay, last night. So, in about a week, it'll be in my hands. In about a week, it'll be put to use. In a little longer than a week, you'll be seeing some new MUSIC available at Cruel Music! Exciting, no?

Day 3 (Again!)

Hello. How is your day going? I'm doing much better, thank you. I had a couple bad days there, man. It's hard, you know? It's hard when everything is put on hold, right while the pieces are starting to fall into place. It's just plain hard. Hopefully the dark days are almost over. Hopefully. Anyway... That's not why you called.

I'm currently at work. Yeah, really. Blogging the day away. Kinda. I mean, if you can squeeze 8 hours into the 15 minutes it takes to post this blog, then I'd be blogging the day away. It's boring, though. That's what I'm getting at. So far the highlight of my day has been the last game of Solitaire that I just played. I almost won! I only had, like, 3 cards left. I needed a break from the excitement, so here I am. Bored out of my skull. It's not a bad job. Don't get me wrong. It's just that the lady who used to occupy this seat left, after 13 years, out of the blue. She didn't leave us anything to work with here! We're starting over from scratch. And, until we get things back into some sort of operating condition, this is how it's going to be, I guess. Here I sit... At an old Gateway computer, with Windows 98, and a really slow dial up connection. Very primitive. The web browsers have never been updated, so I can't even surf the web! It's hard to work under these conditions! I kid you not, man! It's weird. I can't even get my blog to load! I'm hoping this partial web page display will be good enough to get my message across... I can't check my Hotmail. I can't look around on Ebay. Nothing! I'm very tempted to buy Windows XP, and throw it on this dinosaur. Yeah, it'll erase everything on the computer, but what good is "everything" to me?! I might as well have something here that I can work with, right? Think I'll bring that up at the next board meeting. Oh, wait... I'm sorry, there is no "board." It's just me and my boss here. Heh.

Okay...

I got another job offer today. A graphic designer. Sounds fun, and all, but I'm tired of changing jobs. I think I'm done now. I've worked at 3 different places in the last 3 weeks! That sucks!

New job... I'm an office manager, which is basically a glorified secretary. I think I like it. Maybe. Who knows?! It's weird to just sit still all day. In an office. Behind a desk. I could, like, totally decorate my desk with pictures of my grandchildren, and stuff. Heh. Yeah... Maybe. It's fun to be crazy! Anyway... I'm alone at this job. I just sit there, and answer the phone every once in a while. It's good. I need to be alone. I need to think. I need to get my head clear. I need to plot my next move. I need to make sense of what has happened to me over the summer. Do I like the job? Ummm.... Maybe. The office is hooked up on a really slow dial-up internet service. How did we ever live like that? I hate that! I guess it's good, though. It keeps me focused on my job, instead of surfing the net.

I just got a call from Magic Mart. Well... My mom answered it, but anyway... It was weird, huh? They seemed to be wondering where I was, or something... Heh. I didn't give a notice! I just didn't show up for the last 2 days. Mom told the female dog, "I believe he quit." I saw one of the managers from Magic Mart in a Chinese restaurant today (Yes... God help us, I'm eating Chinese food now! I'll eat, basically, anything now!). It was just like in the movies! I was trying to hide from him. Crawling around on the floor, and holding the menu up against my face, and stuff... It was funny! Kinda think he saw me anyway, though, or else why would Magic Mart be calling for me? ("Fell On Black Days" is on Octane right now!) I want to feel bad about leaving Magic Mart the way I did, but that place really sucks man! I don't owe them anything! And, if you're a spy from Magic Mart, viewing this right now, you should quit too! The management there sucks! I thought the store was bad... Wow.... So, yeah, I'm not going to mention the name of the office where I'm working now, because I'm afraid Magic Marters will hunt me down, and scalp me, or something...

Typing Skills

I figured that I should probably brush up on my typing a bit, since I'm, basically, a secretary, now. I used to type, like, 35 words a minute, in high school. I think, now, I can type about 8 words a minute. Heh. I don't know what happened to me... So, I'm going to ramble a bit now.

My aunt "10" is goofy. She's been wanting me to go back to the grocery store ever since I quit. My dad, too, actually. Dad wants me to go back, because I had insurance. 10 won't really say why she wants me to go back. She just constantly says, "You miss your store, don't you, honey?" And, "I believe you want to go back to the store." Stuff like that. Weird... I called her a few minutes ago. The first thing she said, when I told her I quit Magic Mart, was, "Are you going back to the store?" Crazy old woman!

A secretary... Hey, you know what's neat about this? My first day of working at Kmart was on October 4, 2001. Well, my first day at this real estate agency will be on October 4, 2005. Heh.

I take "10" to get her groceries every Thursday. Well, almost every Thursday, we'll get on the scales at Wal Mart, just to see how much weight we've been gaining. The neat thing about Wal Mart's scales is that you get your fortune read afterward. Sure, the fortune usually says something like, "Go on a diet," or "Happiness is the key to life," or something useless. Well... Last Thursday, after I got weighed, my fortune said, "You will find a better job." WHAT?! How do you know?! I didn't even tell you I was looking for a better job, man! Freaky... Same thing with this week's TV Guide. My fortune said something like, "Things are finally starting to go your way. Don't get too cocky, but remain optimistic." As if the TV Guide knew what I wrote in my last blog (the one about being pessimistic). Weird, man...

I don't know... I could just type anything, you know? Just something to kinda work on my speed, or something... But, I can't really think of anything. My life just isn't very exciting. So... This is my day off. I'll be around all day. Wanna hang out, or something?

Oh, here's another beach picture. This was an out-take from the photo album. I stand by these signs on the beach, every year, and Mom takes a picture of me there. I was going for it again this year. I was standing there, smiling, forever. It would've been a good picture, if Mom would've just snapped the freakin' picture! Anyway, I thought she got the picture, after about 2 minutes, so I stopped my pose... Then, she took the picture! D'oh! But, my point is... Look how sad I was!

A Couple With My Dad

Beach Pix - Part Two

Oh, Wow!

Strange days, indeed, baby! Something weird happened to me. Right after that last post, I got an email from the job service, saying there was a job opening at a local real estate agency. So, I went to the office, gave them my resume, and got the job! Heh heh. I'll be doing OFFICE WORK! Working a fixed schedule every day! 8:30-5, with weekends, and holidays off. Wow! The kind of job I've always wanted! I'm a little afraid, though. Sounds a little too good to be true. I'm pessimistic by nature. Things usually just don't go my way, man! There must be a catch to it... I don't know... But, I got the job! I start tomorrow. They gave me a key to the office, and everything. Killer! So, I went to the grocery store, and told my friends there the good news. I'm supposed to work at Magic Mart at 1:30, today... Steve said that I should just not show up. Not call, or anything. Just take the day off. And, you know what? That sounds really good! I've not had a day off since the 22nd. I've been working really hard at Magic Mart. Rest sounds awesome! So, that's what I'm going to do! Heh heh. I worked at Magic Mart for 16 days. I didn't really make any friends there. The managers all suck... Abuse of power... So, they can just bite me! I don't want anything to do with them anymore! I'm going to keep my cool name badge, though.

Beach Pix - Part One

These are from August. Kinda new, huh?














This is where we stayed. Home Sweet Sea Cabin.





































(Touching a cactus. Oww!)

Ummm...

I was thinking last night, before I went to bed, that I had something really cool to say on the blog. I was kinda sleepy, though, and just went to bed, hoping to blog today. Well, turns out that I forgot what I was going to blog. Go figure!

I got me a cool, new printer / scanner / other stuff, Saturday. So, I'll be posting new pictures up here soon. Actually... Take this with you!











Really proud of my Magic Mart name badge. Heh. So, yeah, look for new pictures on the web site, and here, too, I guess. There's not much else to do, these days, so I'll probably be doing a lot of scanning. Especially since the newest pictures on the website are from 2001. That should be updated.

Chosen Paths

So, do you ever catch a glance of someone from your past, and start thinking? I saw a few of those people in Magic Mart, tonight.

I saw Jeff, my best friend in high school. He was with his wife, and their son. That kind of thing used to be depressing to me. "Look at that! He's happy! Why can't I be happy?!" Or, "Everyone I went to school with is married, and have families now. What about me?!" Yeah... That's not me anymore... Good seeing Jeff, man! We go way back... Golly, 17 years! I've known him since before I had long hair! We met in 7th grade. I started growing my hair in the summer between 7th and 8th grade. Not many people have seen me with short hair, but Jeff has! Heh. I'm really proud of Jeff, and all he's done. I wish we wouldn't have parted ways. He'd be a good person to be in me life right now. I guess that's life, though. "Hearts and thoughts they fade, fade away." People come and go. Every once in a while, some will stay. Jeff, if you're reading this, by any chance, let's be friends again! I miss you, Brother. We had some great times together! I never had many friends. Still don't. Jeff was one of the few, the proud.

Secondly, I saw an old crush of mine. The girl from 2000 (cm). The one who got away. I was so crazy about her! I wish I wouldn't have been too shy to have asked her out. We could've had some good times together. She was with her boyfriend, tonight. She smiled, and waved at me, as if to say, "This could've been YOU with me, Junebug!" Oh well...

And last, I saw Todd. He used to work at Kmart with me. He was one of the first people to take me under his wing, and teach me the ropes there. So, he was in Kmart's old building, which is now Magic Mart. Full Circle.

Three sightings. The paths that led me to where I am today. There seems to be a lot of crossroads on the path I'm currently on. I never know from one day to the next where I'm going to end up.

Got my first Magic Mart pay check, today. Turns out that was a good move, after all. I'll be getting, like, $50 more a week. Still looking for something better, though.

Magic Mart plays Sirius radio all the time, by the way. Don't think I mentioned that before. They finally turned off the country channel, yesterday. But, now they're on the 70's channel. Hey, don't get me wrong, 70's rock is the best! But, the thing is, there was a lot of disco in the 70's... I heard a lot of Donnna Summer, and Bee Gees, yesterday.

I'm Lovin' This!

It's so cool to be a creature of the day again! Or, night, too, I guess... I'm working from 1-9 most of the time. I'm getting to enjoy plenty of daylight. Then, when I get off work, I usually go down to the floodwall, and do some night walking / star gazing. Good stuff, man!

Just watched the new Foo Fighters' video, "DOA." If you've not seen it yet, you should! Go to www.foofighters.com and click on media. I love all the Foo's videos. This one is really funny. Go! Be gone with you!

New Band?!?!

So, I'm sure you've noticed that there seems to be a lack of music in Cruel Music, nowadays. I can't even begin to remember when the last musical piece was released (according to the catalog, it was on November 3, 2002!!!) It's been a while, to say the least! I don't know what went wrong, man. My lack of free time killed my desire to make music. But, I've, suddenly, become inspired to write songs again. A lot of them are wimpy, little, "silly love songs." But, "What's wrong with that? I'd like to know. So, here we go again..." Yeah... Anyway, as it turns out, I know this bass player... So, kids, my gears are turning. I'm feeling very creative again, all of a sudden, and I think I might just have myself a bassist (and a singer?). Well... It's just a theory, right now. Just in the beginning stages. It'll probably be, like, a year, or something before you'll be hearing any new music from this band. But, just keep that in mind. It COULD happen! Heh. Oh, and I've recorded a couple songs on my own, by the way... Don't know where they'll end up, but they're on my computer right now. Maybe I'll make a new solo album, while we're waiting for this new band to form. Either way, there's got to be some MUSIC in Cruel Music! It's been too long!

Homecoming!

So... Day 5, I guess... Magic Mart is kinda weird. I don't think I'll stick around long. I mentioned that being in Kmart's old building would be like "coming home," for me. Well... Picture this... You go home one day, and find that "home" isn't anything like it was the last time you were there. The house is a different color, all of the furniture is different, and your family isn't there. Just a bunch of people you've never seen before in your life. But, this is something I had to do! It's like bungee jumping, or something. You'll never know what you're missing, if you don't jump. I needed out of the grocery store. I needed to prove that I wasn't afraid anymore. I needed to show the world that I can make a leap of faith when, and if, I decide to.

I've been changin,' but you'll never see me now...

I like that song. Don't know who it is. They play it on Octane all the time, but I've been listening to Left Of Center, lately. Weird music kinda fits in with my weird mood. Been listening to Nine Inch Nails a lot, too. Like, every day when I walk, I have some kind of NIN cd with me. I think I had "Pretty Hate Machine" every day last week. Awesome CD! Yeah, anger is cool... That cd helped me to realize that I'm angry.

So... Breaking news! I guess this would be a Cruel Music exclusive, since no one seems to like me anymore, and no one calls, or anything... So, here goes: I quit my job at the grocery store!!! Woo hoo, man!!! Liberation!!! Freedom!!! I'm working at Magic Mart (that's a low-budget, redneck version of Wal Mart, for those of you who don't know), now. Today was my second day. Yes, the job sucks almost as much as the grocery store did, but, hey, at least it's not the grocery store!!! GAWD, that was the worse job I've ever had in my life! I still can't believe I wasted 3 years of my life there! There were a lot of good people at the grocery store. I would almost consider them as being friends, if I only had friends... I'm going to miss them a lot. They taught me a lot about myself. I grew a lot there. But, I stopped growing, and it wasn't fun anymore. I hated being there more and more every day. So, that's how you know to get out of a job... More money, or any of that crap, isn't going to make you happy when you hate the job. Magic Mart seems like it'll give me some growth. We're moving the store up to my old Kmart store. It'll seem like going home, to me. Kmart was the coolest job ever!

Oh, happy birthday, Dad!

Audio Slaves

I ordered a book on Ebay, a couple weeks ago. Well, I thought it was a book. Turns out it was an AUDIO BOOK. I was kinda mad, at first. "What's this crap?!" I was going to send it back, but then I had a change of heart. I opened it up, and started listening to it. Turns out that audio books are the greatest inventions ever! I mean, who has time to READ? I know I sure don't! It takes me, like, 6 months to read a book. But, with this cool little audio book thing, I got it over with on the same day I got it in the mail, yesterday. So, for those of you who "dis" audio books, and say they're cheating, or whatever, you should give it a try sometime. Audio books rule, man!!!

Fashion Sense

Back to that beard thing, which I mentioned in the last post. I shaved about a week ago. The women I work with are all mad at me now, as a result. They keep saying that I looked good with a beard. That was kinda strange. A woman has never told me I look good, in the 29 years I've been here. Even more strange, the men are glad that I shaved. As if they were intimidated by me, or something. Heh.

So, if you know me, you know that I've never followed trends in my life. Never. It's just not my thing. Everyone says, "Cut your hair, you hippy! Long hair isn't in style anymore!" And, that's exactly why I have long hair! If everyone else had long hair, I'd cut mine. I don't want anything to do with trends. (It's funny, though, because I kinda look trendy right now, with my shaggy, short-like hair. That was not my intention. I just wanted my hair to all be the same length again.) Also, you may have noticed, almost every guy in America has a goatee right now. You'll never see me in a goatee, because of that fact.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is my beard, or lack thereof. The popular vote seems to be "Grow your beard back, Junebug!!!" So, I think what I'll do is, I'll grow my beard back. Kinda tease all the women with it long enough to shave it off again! I don't care what people think of me. I don't care if they think I'm "cute" with a beard. I don't care if they think I "look dirty." I'm not going to follow their rules. I'm not going to try to please anyone. I'm going to stir people up, as I've always done. So... The last time I shaved was Tuesday night. Let's annoy people again! It's fun!

Back With A Vengeance (And A Beard)

I made my triumphant return to Chatty, last night, around 6:00. I didn't shave the whole time I was there. I was, originally, protesting my being in Myrtle Beach, and was going to shave when I got back to WV. But, I got used to the attention I was getting, so I decided to keep the beard for a while longer. I've never had a beard before. It's kinda fun.

As for the big, much-hyped, WDN video... Well, it didn't happen! "Reporters On The Beach" was cancelled. The tenth edition, last year, will likely be the last time you'll hear the title "Reporters On The Beach." There will be no "Reporters On The Beach 11." I apologize to the fans, but it's been obvious, for the last few years, that "ROTB" had lost its magic, and was no longer interesting, either to you, or me. This was not planned. It just happened... But... This is not the end of WDN. It's just the end of a segment of WDN. WDN will probably live forever.

Fans of Cruel Music will be pleased to hear that, although there was no "Reporters On The Beach 11" video, there WAS a video! And, it's going to become a staple of Cruel Music... Introducing: "Junebugg Fewget." This new adventure will be a combination of everything you've ever saw, or heard, from Cruel Music, in it's 13-year history. As the title might suggest, it's just me. Me recording music, or, in the case of this year's Myrtle Beach trip, me making videos. The video that was completed in Myrtle Beach is titled, "Junebugg Fewget's Big, Wild 2005 Myrtle Beach Vacation." It's hard to describe, actually... It's similar to WDN, in that it involves humor. But, I think the best definition of this tape would be a "visual blog." It was a lot of fun to make, and I think you'll be seeing a lot more of this kind of thing in the future... Hope you enjoy!

Myrtle Beach, Here I Come!!!

So, I'm heading to Myrtle Beach, tomorrow, ready or not! Hopefully, I'll find myself there, and bring me back to Chattaroy. Kinda not looking forward to the vacation. I don't feel good about it. Bad vibes, man! It'd suck if I die, or something. Bummer. "Life was just beginning, for young Junebug." Yeah... That would suck! I was just starting to get the hang of life. Umm... If I do die, though, I apologize for leaving so soon.

Anyway, hoping to do lots of crazy stuff for WDN, while I'm in Myrtle Beach. It's been too long since I was crazy... And, I'm kinda feeling crazy now, so that would fit the mood. WDN... "Reporters On The Beach 11," we're calling it. And, when I say "we're," I mean "I'm." That's kinda the way things have been at Cruel Music, in recent years. I'm all alone, as with life... But, hey, I'm happy, so bite me! Just me, Mom, and Dad are going this year. Shouldn't be very crowded... Hey, maybe I'll drag Mom and Dad into the video thing. It's always fun to annoy the crap out of them, especially Dad, because he gets so mad.

We got 2 pretty good mud slides, this morning, from the insane rain. That's going to be fun to clean up when I get back.

Hey, kids, kill your hair!!!

I forgot to mention this, the other day... I cut, pretty much, every bit of my hair off, Thursday. As you'll recall, I gave myself a mullet, back in October. Well, turns out that wasn't such a good idea. Go figure! So, I wanted to let it grow back. Only problem with that was that it looked really weird. My hair has not been all one length since 2003, when it started falling out. I kept it all one length for about 5 years, and I kinda liked it that way, until I went bald. So, now, thanks to modern technology, I'm not bald anymore. I wanted my hair to be all the same length again, so I made it that way. And, as a result, my hair is the shortest length that it's been for 16 years right now. It's short, man! It doesn't even touch my chin. Most people seem to like it this way, but let me tell you, it really sucks... I'll be letting it grow down to my buttocks after this ordeal.