WDN Chatters 805

1. Where were you 3 hours ago? At work... Where were YOU?!


2. Who are you in love with? "I'm in love with a German film star..." Nice little Foo Fighters song. Heh heh. Seriously, though, my Denise.


3. Have you ever eaten a crayon? Not intentionally. I was forced to eat one once... Some kids said if I didn't eat the crayon that they'd burn my house down, and torture my hamsters. It was green.


4. Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? I seriously doubt it.


5. When is the last time you went to the mall? What is this "mall" you speak of?


6. Are you wearing socks right now? Yes I am. Sue me, I'm cold!


7. Do you have a car worth over $2,000? Heh. Yeah. What was I thinking?


8. When was the last time you drove out of town? I don't know, Sunday?


9. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? Heh. Yeah, right!


10. Are you hot? No, dude! I just said I was freezing! Are you even paying attention to me?


11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Diet Pepsi. It was good.


12. What are you wearing right now? A sexy little blue nighty.


13. Do you wash your car or let the car wash do it? I let myself do it. It has enough scratches on it, without taking it through one of those automated thingies.


14. Last food that you ate? Breakfast... At lunch time... =)


15. Where were you last week at this time? Last week... Man, I can't even remember where I was last NIGHT at this time!


16. Have you bought any clothing items in the last week? No... I don't do things like that. It's against my religion.


17. When was the last time you ran? As in running for my life? I don't know!


18. What's the last sporting event you watched? Sports are so gay!


19. Who is your favorite superhero? Batman, though Spider-Man is coming in a close second place these days.


20. Your dream vacation? Just being able to afford a vacation would be a dream vacation for me!


21. Last person's house you were in? Umm... 10's, I guess.


22. Worst injury you've ever had? That time I got hit with a crowbar, and had to have my elbow surgically connected on to my collar bone to prevent further bleeding.


23. Have you been in love? Umm... Agian, you're just not paying attention to me, are you? Look at #2, man! Yes, I'm in love right now, this very minute, and loving every minute of it. "Nobody ever really loved me like she loves me. She loves me good." "Don't Let Me Down." ~The Beatles.


24. Do you miss anyone right now? No, I don't. I keept certain people in my life, and certain people out of my life for a reason, you know?


25. Last play you saw? Gawd, the last PLAY?! Ummm... Oh yeah, that one about the Hatfields and McCoys, "The Last Hanging In Pike County," back in 2000 (or was it 2001?)


26. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? Stink bait, like you use when fishing. Oh, and deer urine never hurts.


27. What are your plans for tonight? Going to bed, and waking up to start the whole process all over again tomorrow.


28. Who is the last person you sent a MySpace message or comment? I don't really use that stuff anymore, but when I do it's with my girl.


29. Next trip you are going to take? I don't do drugs.


30. Ever go to camp? Not actually to one of those corny "get rid of your kids for a week" camps, but yeah, I've been camping. I loved it, too, I'll have you know.


31. Were you an honor roll student in school? Sometimes.


32. What do you want to know about the future? Will these tacos, which I'm about to eat, make me constipated?


33. Are you wearing any perfume or cologne? No, that stuff bothers my toenails.


35. Where is your best friend? Tie: Mom and Denise.


36. How is your best friend? They're well, thank you. How is yours?


37. Do you have a tan? Kinda. It's one of those farmer's tans.


38. What are you listening to right now? Some very annoying country music, which is blasting on my neighbor's car stereo... Ick!


39. Do you collect anything? Coins.


40. Who is the biggest shit talker you know? The what?!


41. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over? Oh yeah... That one time, on my way to the floodwall... (See blog for further details... I think it was last year...)


42. Have you ever drank your soda from a straw? Of course! Have you ever breathed oxygen?!


43. What does your last text message say? My what?


44. Do you like hot sauce? Oh yeah, man! Good stuff, there!


45. Last time you took a shower? 6 months ago.


46. Do you need to do laundry? No, I do that every 6 months, too, so I'm good on that for right now.


47. What is your heritage? Part French, part something else... English, maybe?


48. Are you someone's best friend? Yeah, huh huh huh... That's cool, Beavis... Huh, huh, huh...


49. Are you rich? Yes, I am. With blessings, at least.


50. What were you doing at 12AM last night? Sleeping, you moron!

WDN Chatters 804

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT? with my fiance in this stupid trailer.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? "the life & death of jim morrison," or something like that.

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? 4 cute little kittens.

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? connect 4.

5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? none really... kinda fond of guitar magazines.

6a. FAVORITE SMELLS? denise.

6b. LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS? ozzy's farts.

7. FAVORITE SOUNDS? the ocean.

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD? being alone.

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? denise.

10. FAVORITE COLOR? eighteen.

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? however many it takes.

12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? jebakye, and izeekile.

13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? finding your soul mate.

14. FAVORITE FOODS? chinese, baby!

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? why not both?

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? no.

17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? no.

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? cool in a scary sort of way.

19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? beretta.

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE? alive, probably, because i've seen a lot of ghosts.

21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? nyquil? i don't know! i don't drink!

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? sagitarius.

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? sure, if there's stems in my plate i'll eat them, too. no vegetable will survive my wrath!

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE? that sounds kinda dirty...

25. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR WHAT WOULD IT BE? pink.

26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? i'm currently there.

27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? my cup of water is almost empty. does that make me sound pessimistic? i don't want to be like that anymore... i'm just saying, man, i just got done mowing the grass, and i drunk some water, and now there's not much left in my cup, so, therefore, low and behold, my cup is almost empty.

28. FAVORITE MOVIES? tombstone, back to the future, star wars, young guns, armageddon, and anything that nicolas cage has ever made.

29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? no, i usually type with my fingers on my car keys.

30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? a lot of ozzy's hair, and poop, and stuff.

31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? red.

Is This Thing On?!

Testing, testing... Check 1, Check, Check... I think someone is trying to sabotage the blog page. It's not been working these last few days. Is it working now?

For some weird reason, the alarm clock went off, this morning, at 6:30. I don't remember setting it. I knew I didn't have to work, so why would I have done such a thing? Force of habit, maybe? Hmmm... So, we went back to sleep. I woke up again around 7, rolled over, and kissed Baby Girl, and told her that I love her. I fell asleep again until, like, 8, when the phone rung... It was a bill collector trying to find Hugh M. Lowe. Ain't it supposed to be illegal for those guys to call after 8pm, and on weekends? Heh heh. So, after we woke up that time, we just laid there, and held each other for a couple hours, like we always do when I get a day off. I tell my Denise all the time, and I've probably written it in the blog before, too, but her heart is the best gift anyone has ever given me.

What to do today? Day 2 of the vacation... I'd kinda like to rip my computer's guts out, and figure out why it sucks, but that would take a while, so I don't know... Kinda wanna do some more surveys, too. I have a nice little assortment of those things. They're always fun. "10" is fixing chicken and dumplings later, so I'll probably grab those, and maybe look at Debra's computer to see why it sucks. Need to cut lots of grass, but I probably won't. I'll probably, mostly, just lay around and be lazy, like yesterday, and cover my soulmate with kisses all day... But, first things first... It's time to go fix some pancakes and eggs, and stuff our bellies...

I'm officially on vacation now! This will be the first time I've ever taken a vacation without actually going anywhere. That's kinda depressing. I should be packing for dear old Myrtle Beach right now, and hitting the road first thing tomorrow morning, and walking on the beach tomorrow night... Man, I'm really missing Myrtle Beach!!! Especially the whole walking on the beach thing. That's my most favorite outdoor activity of all time... Walking on the beach, looking at the stars, while the ocean wind is blowing in my face... This is the first year since, like, 1996 that I haven't been to the beach... Have I mentioned that life sucks? Seriously, dude, my baby girl, my soulmate, my Denise is the only good thing about life. Everything else is crap! So, no beach this year... But, at least I'll get to spend lots and lots of time with my Denise next week. =)

Ramblings

I hardly ever get a chance to write in the blog anymore... I hardly ever get a chance to do much of anything anymore, actually! Heh heh. But, that's another story for another day... I should be cutting grass for my landlord-monkey-guy right now, but I thought I'd just take a minute to vent out some of the things that have been bugging me lately... So, here goes...

As previously noted, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO DO ANYTHING ANYMORE!!! What's up with that, man?! There are still 24 hours in a day, right? No one didn't steal time, or anything like that, did they? Seems like all I ever get done anymore is sleep, go to work, and cut grass... And, all I really want to do is spend every minute of every day with my beautiful Denise.

Something that's been increasingly annoying to me over the last few years... And, ESPECIALLY these last few months... My uncle... Not going to mention any names, but he knows who he is, and there's a good chance that most of you reading this will know who he is. He's the one uncle who is going through "new money syndrome" at the moment. This uncle was really cool with me all my life. He was funny. He'd come around, and play video games with us, laugh at our crazy WDN tapes, and laugh at our comic books. He was cool, ya know? He was FRIGGIN' cool! Then, one day he got a big promotion at work. He started making tons of money. And, I mean, I was happy for the guy, because he'd been dirt-poor all his life, just like me, and just like everyone else in the family. But, like most people, he let that money go straight to his head. He started acting like he was better than everyone else in the family. He stopped coming around. He stopped being cool, period. And, a few months ago, he made a fatal mistake, in my book. Can't really go into details without giving away his identity, so I guess that kinda takes the fun out of the story, huh? Heh heh. But, if you're reading this, dear old uncle, don't ever ask me for another favor, because I'm not going to lift a finger to help you, unless you change your ways. Money isn't everything, man! Gawd!!! Remind me to never turn into my uncle when I get a better paying job!

Ahhh... A better paying job... Don't get me wrong, I hate money, and greed, and my money-grubbing, greedy-ass uncle, but it would be really really nice to actually be able to afford some things in life! Who made that rule anyway? Why do we have to work? Why do we have to have money? Whoever said that we have to have money in order to live?! I hate society's rules more than ever now. Why is it that I spend 6 days a week at work, and I still end up having to borrow money from my aunt "10" every month, so I can pay the friggin' rent?! I've been looking into getting a better job. It's not a job that's going to turn me into a millionaire over-night, like my uncle, and turn me into a greedy turd like him... But, at least I'll be able to afford to buy our groceries, and even get cable TV. Of course, I don't have time to apply for this new job, but just in case I find some time, keep your fingers crossed for me, mmm k?

Free time could be a reality next week... I'm going on vacation!!! Woo hoo, dig? Sure, I can't afford to actually go anywhere, but, DUDE, it'll feel good good good to get some time off from work, and get to kick back and relax, and spend lots of time with my angel baby!

Back to the monkey... The great house hunt of 2006 is still going on (and still failing miserably, by the way). Why can't there be any decent, affordable, local houses in the world?! We've been trying to get out of here for 3 months now, and we're still trapped! Cross your fingers for that one too, won't you? "Gee, man, I hope Junebug and Denise find a house soon!" Something like that, ya know? We got shot down, yet again, today!

Sleepy... That's another thing! Why do I stay sleepy all the time?! Is that monkey pumping some kind of toxic gases in this trailer to make us stay tired all the time?!

And, what about my sideburns?! They won't grow, man! I've been trying to let them grow back out for about a month, and they're still not filling in right...

Anyone out there know an exorcist, by any chance? Yeah, that's another thing... We're in dire need of an exorcist to come in, and check Ozzy out. He's this sweet, innocent, little kitten when you first wake up in the morning. He's always purring, and rubbing against your leg, and whatnot. But, as the day goes on, he becomes possessed by the devil, and gets really mean. He starts biting you for no reason, and getting into everything... Constantly climbing around in places where he doesn't belong, trying to eat the garbage, playing with toilet paper and/or paper towels, eating your shoes, etc... He's evil, I tell you, EVIL!!!

And, who the crap is "Hugh Lowe?!" We get 20,000 phone calls for "Hugh Lowe," or his wife, Loretta, a day! He's not here already!!! Leave us alone!!!

Why do my bones pop every time I move?! What's that all about?! I'm 30-friggin' years old! Why do I feel like I'm falling apart?! I screwed my right knee up today... By walking down some steps! Yeah, really, I crap you not, friends. I was walking down steps, and all at once, my knee gave out on me. I can't even hardly bend the thing now!

So... I guess I'll eat now, get ready to go to bed, and wait for the whole, lame process to start all over again tomorrow... Peace, my brothers and sisters, ya know what I'm sayin'?

WTC

I went to the theater, today, with my Denise and my mom. We saw "World Trade Center." It really bothered me... Why haven't we wiped the people responsible for that day off the face of the planet yet?!

WDN Chatters 803

1. What is your Boyfriend/girlfriends name? Denise (My Soulmate)

2. What color underwear are you wearing now? Do you REALLY want to know that?!

3. What are you listening to right now? L.A. Guns "Crystal Eyes"

4. What are the last 4 digits in your phone number? I'm not allowed to give my phone number to strangers

5. What was the last thing you ate? Sausage & egg biscuit... Good stuff!

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be? Clear.

7. How is the weather right now? Pleasant-like. 80 degrees, not a cloud in the sky... That's the way it should stay!

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? Carol. Heh heh.

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite/preferred sex? I don't notice anything about the opposite sex now, because I have my soulmate, thank you.

10. Favorite type of Food? Golly, that's hard to say! I love Chinese, Mexican, Italian, and American! No favorite, I'm afraid.

11. Do you drink? I drink a cup of (Florida style) Sunny Delight, a gallon of water a day, and usually 2 cans of pop (preferrably Pepsi).

12. Do you smoke? Never.

13. Ever get so drunk you don't remember what you did? Sorry, can't help you on that one either... Never been drunk... Never wanna be...

14. Hair color? Kinda brown / muddy blonde.

15. What is your eye color? Blue.

16. Do you wear contacts? No.

17. Favorite Holiday? I love all holidays equally. I don't discriminate things of that nature.

18. Favorite Month? See #17. I don't discriminate. As long as I'm alive, and healthy, every time, month, moment are my favorites...

19. Have you ever cried for no reason? That's usually the ONLY time I cry is when it's for no reason.

22. Are u too shy to ask someone out? I used to be.

23.If you can say something to someone right now what would it be? I love you, Denise!

24. Hugs or Kisses? Kiss kiss, and big bear hugs.

25. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate, Vanilla, heck I'll eat anything!

26. Who is least likely to respond? Patrick Swayze.

27. Who is most likely to respond? Willy Wonka.

28. Who do you want to respond? Charlie Brown.

29. What books are you reading? Some Jim Morrison book... "The Life & Death Of..." or something like that. I've been reading a page every day since December 4th. I'm almost halfway done now!

30. Piercings? My eyes.

31. Favorite Movie? Probably "Back To The Future," but I also love Star Wars, Tombstone, Young Guns, Forest Gump, Titanic, Armageddon, and anything Nicolas Cage has ever made.

32. Favorite football team? The C-Side Screamin' Devils With Antlers Above Their Ears.

33.What were you doing before this? Kissin' my girl.

34. Any pets? 1 brat (cat) Ozzy. He's loco, amigos!

35.Screen name? - Noneya.

34. Butter popcorn, plain, or salted? Whatever.

37. Dogs or cats? cats

38. Favorite flower? Phlox.

39. Have you ever been caught doing something you weren't supposed to? I never do things I'm not supposed to be doing, because I'm not supposed to be doing those things for a reason...

40. Are you taken or single? Taken.

41. Have you ever loved someone? Not until I loved Denise. She's the real deal!!!

42. Who would you like to see right now? The person that I see right now sitting on my lap, my baby girl.

43. Are you still friends with your exes? I love "The X Files." Watch it every day! ...Oh, different type of X? Umm... No, my exes were mean to me, otherwise they wouldn't be exes, now, would they, hmmm?

44. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes, and I've peed behind a tree, too! I'm a true wilderness man.

45. Do you like to travel by plane? I love it! Oh, wait a minute... I've never been on a plane before!

46. Right-handed or Left-handed? Right. Caught me red-handed!

48. How many pillows do you sleep with? That varies from night to night. Sometimes I sleep on my pillow, sometimes I sleep on mine and Denise's both, and sometimes Denise is my pillow (while she's sleeping on both pillows, making it, technically, 3 pillows, even though we only have 2 pillows on our bed, per se...)

50. Do you have a Tattoo? My baby girl is my new tattoo, she'll be with me forever and ever, just like a real tattoo.... But, if you're talkoing about the kind that involves ink, then, no. I dislike needles muchly.

"ANGEL BABY"
Rosie And The Originals
It's just like heaven being here with you
You're like an angel too good to be true
But after all, I love you, I do
Angel Baby, my Angel Baby
When you are near me my heart skips a beat
I can hardly stand on my own two feet
Because I love you, I love you, I do
Angel Baby, my Angel Baby
Oooh, I love you, ooooh I do
No one could love you like I do
oooooooooh oooooooooh oooooooh ooooooh ooooh ooooh oooooooh ooooh oooh
Please never leave me blue and alone
If you ever go I'm sure you'll come back home
Because I love you, I love you, I do
Angel Baby, my Angel Baby
it's just like heaven being with you dear
I could never stay away without you near
because i love you, i love you
i do, Angel Baby, my Angel Baby
Oooooh, I love you, oooh I do. No one could love you like I do.

WDN Chatters 802

Best, Worst, Last, First, Today, Tomorrow, Favorites, Currently, and True & False.

Best
1. Male friend: J.R.M.
2. Female friend: My soulmate, my Denise
3. Vacation: Closets

Worst
1. Time of day: 1:17p.m.
2. Day of the Week: Yesterday
3. Food: Those bacon / cheddar cheese chicken nuggets that "10" bought for us last month.
4. Memory: That day that I fell, and forgot how to pee.

Last
1. Person you saw: Besides Baby Girl, that dude who changed the oil in my car.
2. Talked to on the phone: Mum
3. Text: I've never been to Texas
4. IMed: I don't believe in that.
5. Messaged over myspace: Baby Girl

Today
1. What are you doing now: Kissing Denise.
2. Wearing: Cold feet
3. Better than yesterday: Every day just gets better, and better, and better, and better...

Tomorrow
1. Is: Yesterday
2. Got any plans: Go to Washington DC, and killing the first politician I see.
3. Dislikes about tomorrow? I'll probably end up going to jail for it.

Favorite
1. Number: 14,000,641,286.
2. Song: Anything as long as it's not Vanilla Ice
3. Color: Summer
4. Season: Red

Currently
1. Missing someone: I miss Freddy Kruger like crazy, man! Where has he been for so long?!
2. Mood: Sleepy, hungry, sick to my stomach, and happy, because I keep getting kisses from Denise while I'm typing this.
3. Wanting: To go to Myrtle Beach, and smell the ocean air as I dive off a pier into the wet sand below.

True or False:
I am a cuddler: No, I'm an American!
I am a morning person: Yeah, sure, whatever
I am an only child: I'm 30. I've not been a child for quite some time.
I am currently in pajamas: I'm currently in what I slept in last night... If you want to consider that pajamas, then I'm game!
I am currently suffering from a broken heart: My suffering stopped on April 2nd.
I am addicted to myspace: No. It's evil.
I am online 24/7: For 24 minutes every 7 days... Yes.
I am very shy around the opposite gender: No, but I do enjoy ginger bread cookies.
I can be paranoid at times: The truth is out there.
I currently regret something that I have done: I regret nothing! You can't take me alive, Copper!
When I get mad, I curse frequently: No, I'm not a witch.
I enjoy country music: I enjoy throwing up every time I hear country music, because it drowns out the noise of that crappy music.
I enjoy jazz music: Kinda sorta
I love smoothies: Is that dirty? Kinda sounds kinky...
I enjoy talking on the phone: No, phones are evil.
I have a crush: I haven't drank that pop in years! I prefer Pepsi, myself.
I have a hard time paying attention at school: When I was in school, yes... College, to be more exact. It was lame. High school was okay, I guess, but I was always day-dreaming about getting out of school so me and the boys could jam.
I have a hidden talent: Yes, true... I can fart through my nose.
I have a tendency to fall for the "wrong" girl/guy: No, I usually land on the safety net below.
I have all my grandparents: All of my mom's parents, but none of my dad's.
I have at least one brother and/or sister: I have one sister. She's very abusive toward me and my hamster, though, so we tend to not eat together anymore.
I have been told that I have a sense of humor: Never.
I have broken a bone: No, but I've broken a bananna before.
I have changed a diaper: Back when I was a baby I changed my own diaper frequently, because my mom didn't like the way my yellow poopie smelled.
I have changed a lot over the past year: God, yeah. For the better, definitely.
I have done something illegal: Once I snorted mustard.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color: Yes, and I've seen friends I've never had, too.
I have had major/minor surgery: Oh yes... I almost forgot! One time I had to have my elbow surgically removed to prevent my appendix from rupturing. They replaced my elbow (the one on my left arm, by the way) with a jar of peanut butter.
I have had my hair cut within the last 2 months: No. Scissors have not touched this mane since August 1, 2005.

There's been a lot going on, lately. I haven't really had time to talk about much of anything, except for the house-hunting game, and stuff... Haven't talked about music, or movies, or my baby girl as much as I want to. Hoping to change all that soon, and get this blog back to its normal sort of goofiness... One thing that I keep forgetting to mention is that I'm going to be an uncle for the first time ever. Pretty excited about that. Debra told us the news on Father's Day, so it's been a while... Oopsie! It's not that I don't care, because I do... It's just that, well, like I said, things have been crazy around here, with all the landlord wars, and whatnot. I've just been wanting to vent out as much of that negative energy as I can, ya know? Do you forgive me? I thought you might. =)

"The Long, Slow Goodbye"

Yesterday was "Brother" Chris's last day at work. He's moving on to bigger and better things. Brave man... I hate goodbyes! "They never get any easier." I almost cried when it was time to clock out. That place is not going to be the same without him. Chris played a big part in my decistion to return to work in November, and now he's leaving! Not much point in me staying there now... Except there's not really any jobs here, and I'm kinda stuck with it for now... Anyway, I'm going to miss you, Chris. God bless you, my brother.

Rent...

I have $385 in my pocket right this minute... Can someone please tell me why I'm getting ready to give $375 to a monkey? Gawd, I hate our landlord!!!

All is not lost, though... Life sucks, true, but it's getting better. "I have to admit it's getting better. Getting better all the time. Yes, I admit it's getting better since you've been mine." ~The Beatles... I mean, in the last year, I've weeded out some people from my life that were just *BEGGING* to be weeded out. Some people who I'd known for *YEARS.* Some people who were "too busy" to give me the attention I deserved, and some people who were just too burnt out on drugs to give me attention... It's funny that I'm addressing this issue again, but I guess when I hit that little "low point," yesterday, that it reminded me, "Yes, things are bad now, but they're not nearly as bad as they were this time last year." I'm not giving anyone "cheap shots," or anything, but it's *AMAZING* how much one's heart heals when one removes certain people from one's life... It's weird that those who claim to *LOVE* you can bring you down, and make you feel like crap... Life sucks... That's been my general assessment of life for the last 17 years... But, removing these poisonous people from my life, and replacing them with people who actually *DO* care about me, and who *REALLY* love me, has done wonders for my bipolar depression thing. How many people do you know who would leave everything behind for you? Who would give up everything in their world just to be with you? *THAT'S* love!!! Someone who stands by your side when things get ugly, and supports you no matter what? My Denise is love! She has given me a whole new reason to tolerate life. She has shown me so much love in the 7 months that I've known her, more love than anyone has ever given me! I love her so much! It's going to be so great growing old with her, and witnessing how much our love can grow! I'm truly thankful for Denise being in my life. She is the glue that keeps my sanity from shattering on to the ground. I love you, Baby Girl!!! <3<3<3

"SOMETHING I CAN NEVER HAVE"
~Nine Inch Nails

i still recall the taste of your tears
echoing your voice just like the ringing in my ears
my favorite dreams of you still wash ashore
scraping through my head 'til i don't want to sleep anymore

you make this all go away
you make this all go away
i'm down to just one thing and i'm starting to scare myself
you make this all go away
you make this all go away
i just want something
i just want something i can never have

you always were the one to show me how
back then i couldn't do the things that i can do now
this thing is slowly taking me apart
grey would be the color if i had a heart
come on, tell me

you make this all go away
you make this all go away
i'm down to just one thing and i'm starting to scare myself
you make this all go away
you make this all go away
i just want something
i just want something i can never have

in this place it seems like such a shame
though it all looks different now, i know it's still the same
everywhere i look you're all i see
just a fading fucking reminder of who i used to be
come on, tell me

you make this all go away
you make this all go away
i'm down to just one thing and i'm starting to scare myself
you make this all go away
you make it all go away
i just want something
i just want something i can never have
i just want something i can never have

Life sucks!

I was so excited about this one... Baby Girl woke up to go to the bathroom around 1am, and I woke up, too. I laid there for, like, 3 hours trying to get back to sleep. I was so excited about the house I couldn't stop thinking about it, and I couldn't sleep... This was going to be the one! I could just *FEEL* it!

However... I should know better by now... QUIT GETTING MY HOPES UP!!! That's been my philosophy for the last 15 years, or so... "Don't bother getting your hopes up, Dude, because nothing ever goes your way!" To quote the Cinderella song... "The more things change, the more they stay the same." Yeah... In a move that shouldn't have surprised me, at this point, the bank did not approve my loan request! Their "First-Time Buyers Program" doesn't cover trailers. And, the house we were looking at *USED TO BE* a trailer. It was turned into a house, but since it was originally a trailer, they couldn't accept my loan application. Yeah, I could still buy the house straight through the bank... But, I don't seem to have a spare $5,000 laying around anywhere ($3,500 for the down payment, and $1,100+ for the closing costs... Basically, $5,000.)... So... Shall I repeat? LIFE SUCKS!!!

So, now, in the process of escaping this landlord's prison, I have, pretty much, ruined my once-"excellent" credit, because I've been turned down for a loan three times... Which means our chances of escaping this prison are very, very slim now... LIFE SUCKS!!!

I got "Shot Down In A Blaze Of Glory" yet again! Got approved for the loan at bank #2, and everything, but the lady who was selling the house refused to sell it to us! Go figure, huh?

So... Here I am. I'm listening to The Ramones. I'm eating some chicken stir fry out of my lap. I'm drinking some water. Oh, and the keyboard is in my lap, too. {(Ozzy just came in, and tried to take my chicken stir fry away from me! My chicken stir fry is now up on top of the computer.)} My Denise is talking to her mom on the phone in our room... Just setting the mood... Preparing you folks for another announcement... Ready?

...We found another house for sale in Chatty!!! We're fairly in love with it, actually. We like it better than the other house! So, everything just might work out for the better, after all. This new house has 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a garage, a carport, a really nice deck along the back side of the house, and... A shop... A future-studio! Heh heh. So now, I'm going to go back to bank #2 tomorrow, and see what happens. Good feelings with this house, man! Good, good, good!

Not much changed over the weekend... We're still 65% sure that we're getting the Chatty house. I got approved for the loan at the second bank with no problems at all. "You want $25,000? Okay, sure, it's yours, Mr. Fugitt, Sir." The problem now is with the closing costs on the loan. The seller of the house is responsible for paying part, if not *ALL*, of the closing costs... But, this particular seller doesn't want to pay JACK SQUAT! So... If we get the house, we're going to have to come up with, like, $1,500 for closing costs and insurance! Man, we've just been having nothing but trouble, in trying to escape the clutches of the monkey, who has us imprisoned here in this trailer!

Funny stuff! Ozzy just jumped in the toilet! LOL!

Chatty house status: 65%

I kinda feel like the world is against me sometimes... I don't fit into society's rules, and I hate the powers-that-be, who tell us that in order to live we need money. I've always hated their rules, and I always will. I just hate their rules more than usual these days. I'm still planning to infiltrate the system, by the way, I'm just putting it on hold for right now...

In a surprising turn of events, things *COULD* be turning around for us now. I was saying, in an earlier post, that the odds of getting the Chatty house were very slim... Well, the odds just swung in our favor today! There's, like, a 60% chance that we'll be getting the Chatty house after all! I got some encouraging news from the bank today. Now, if we can just get the owner of the house to see things our way... She's getting a little annoyed with all the delays... Just think of how we feel, lady!!! Anyway, there could be hope... We just might be busting out of here, man!

On this day last year, I took a little road trip to Naoma, WV. Thought I'd find happiness there... That didn't pan out, as you all know... I can't believe all the crap that's happened in a year! If I'd known then what I know now... Could've skipped over all that nonsense, and been with my Denise all along, and I would've never hurt... "Everything happens for a reason," I guess. I'm happy happy now, and that's all that matters.

Anyway, I'm taking another road trip, of sorts, today. I'm going to Canada! Canada, Kentucky, that is... Heh heh. Going to look at a house over there. The one in Chatty doesn't like us, or something. We've had all sorts of problems in trying to buy that house. So, today, we're starting the search for another house. We tried to find the Canada house, yesterday, but didn't have very good directions, so we couldn't find it. Today we have good directions, and we're *SO* there, dude. Supposed to meet the guy at 6. Hopefully, it'll be a good house, full of good vibes, and whatnot, and we'll be able to get it, and end all this silliness. Can't take much more of our goofy landlord, and his stupid rules...

I had this Jon Bon Jovi song stuck in my head all day, yesterday... I felt like I got shot down in a "Blaze of Glory." The bank shot me down! They wouldn't approve the loan so me and my Denise could buy that awesome house in Chatty... I was "Shot down in a blaze of glory." Sucks! But... There is still a little, tiny glimmer of hope! I'm going to try a different bank, Monday. Keep your fingers crossed for us! We kinda dig this house, man! That's why I posted pictures of it, yesterday, and all... If this bank refuses to accept our love, then we'll be forced to find a different trailer, or apartment, or hole in the ground, or something...

“Blaze Of Glory”
~ Jon Bon Jovi

I wake up in the morning
And I raise my weary head
I've got an old coat for a pillow
And the earth was last night's bed
I don't know where I'm going
Only God knows where I've been
I'm a devil on the run
A six gun lover
A candle in the wind

When you're brought into this world
They say you're born in sin
Well at least they gave me something
I didn't have to steal or have to win
Well they tell me that I'm wanted
Yeah, I'm a wanted man
I'm a colt in your stable
I'm what Cain was to Abel
Mister catch me if you can

I'm going out in a blaze of glory
Take me now but know the truth
I'm going out in a blaze of glory
Lord I never drew first
But I drew first blood
I'm no one's son
Call me young gun

You ask about my conscience
And I offer you my soul
You ask if I'll grow to be a wise man
Well I ask if I'll grow old
You ask me if I've known love
And what it's like to sing songs in the rain
Well, I've seen love come
And I've seen it shot down
I've seen it die in vain

Shot down in a blaze of glory
Take me now but know the truth
'Cause I'm going down in a blaze of glory
Lord I never drew first
But I drew first blood
I'm the devil's son
Call me young gun

Each night I go to bed
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
No I ain't looking for forgiveness
But before I'm six foot deep
Lord, I got to ask a favor
And hope you'll understand
'Cause I've lived life to the fullest
Let this boy die like a man
Staring down a bullet
Let me make my final stand

Shot down in a blaze of glory
Take me now but know the truth
I'm going out in a blaze of glory
Lord I never drew first
But I drew first blood
And I'm no one's son
Call me young gun
I'm a young gun

Here's a good one of my baby girl, and Toby:

I'm looking old, these days...
















(Happy, happy.)

World, meet Ozzy... He's our funny little kid-o.

My hot chick, standing next to my hot rod. Heh heh.

Visions Of The Future

We've been trying to get a loan, these last few weeks... A loan to buy a house... A house that I mentioned in a previous post... A house that's located in Chatty. Here are some pictures of the house, as it looks right this minute (Note: We have not bought the house yet, and have not did any work to it, so it's a bit of a mess right now...):















Side view:















The future sight of the new Cruel Music studio??? (Working title, "The Shop," as in the music shop...):

A little ditty about my soul mate, Denise...

"New Tattoo"

~Motley Crue

I’ve been out drinkin with the boys again

Sorry I’m calling after 2 a.m.

There’s something that I need to say to you

I know it’s lateBut this can’t wait

I just got a new tattoo

One love, one woman

You’re my new tattoo

Tonight is the very first night of my life with you

Until the day I die

I promise it’s true

Everyone will see my new tattoo

Tonight I saw your face up in the stars

Stumbled here to paint you on my arm

There’s something that I need to say to you

So I wrote this song

Cause you belong

Right here on my new tattoo

One love, one woman

You’re my new tattoo

Tonight is the very first night of my life with you

Until the day I dieI promise it’s true

Everyone will see my new tattoo

Tonight I saw your face up in the stars

Stumbled here to paint you on my arm

There’s something that I need to say to you

So I wrote this song

Cause you belong

Right here on my new tattoo

I don’t want to see us fade away

I don’t want to be without you another day

I could be your dorian gray

I won’t fade away

No, I won’t fade away

Leaving Chatty has caused me to miss out on all of the old "Famous People" sightings... Beecher, Budweiser Man, That Old Drunk Man, etc... Work has allowed me to see Joyce Gail, Chicken George, and Miller, recently. That was kinda neat. It's not very often that you see any "famous people" in the grocery store... I've been in South William's Son for about 2 months now. I've kinda missed my native Chatty. I lived there for 28 years! Well... Fear not! There's a really, really strong chance (like 99.9%, or something) that I will be returning to Chatty very soon, with my Denise! We're trying to buy a house there! We're really excited about it. It'll be sooo good to get away from our landlord! But, it'll be cool just having our own place, too, ya know? So, keep your fingers crossed for us! Cruel Music may be moving its headquarters yet again! Wooo hooo, man!!!

"Every Time I Eat Vegetables It Makes Me Think Of You"

~The Ramones

She was a really good friend

A really good friend to me, yeah

She was a really good friend

A really good friend to me, yeah

But they took her away

Tossed her in the bin

Now she's hanging out

In East Berlin, ow-ooo

She had a very bad affair

With some cat from Hiroshima

She turned into a head of lettuce

She eats Thorazine in her farina

But they took her away

Tossed her in the bin

Now she's hanging outIn East Berlin, ow-ooo

And everytime I eat vegetables

It makes me think of you

And everytime I eat vegetables

I don't know what to do, to do ow-ooo

Retaliation Tactics (Chapter One)

In our first line of defense against the evil landlord, we got a kitten today. He's a cute little thing. About 6 or 7 weeks old. He's kinda sorta afraid, and stuff, but I think he'll be fine in a day or few... He's white with gray stripes, and a little black. And, he has long hair. Looks a bit like Slash, my old cat from back around 1992, for those of you who might remember him. Not many of those people left in the world, I don't think. They've all vanished from the planet, me thinks... Anyway... We're calling him Ozzy, for the moment. It's a work-in-progress. Not entirely decided on that, but it does seem to fit him. We took some pictures of him, so as soon as we get the film developed, we'll post some pix up here for the world to see. Should be in about a week, or so... Yeah... We have no digital camera. We're still living in the good old days, when times were simpler, and not quite as electronicee as they are today... So, yeah, anyway... We have a kitten. TAKE THAT, LANDLORD!!!

Let's Lynch The Landlord!!!

There's rain in the sky of our happy kingdom. Me and my Denise are despising our new home a little more each day... Correction: We LOVE our new home. We just really, really hate our landlord! He has the most ridiculous rules I've ever heard of. I understand the fact that he's trying to protect his investment, or whatever, but, GOOD LORD, we're paying this idiot $350 a month for a friggin' TRAILER! We should have a little bit of freedom, I think. We can't have any pets, and I have to mow the grass every week... We have to, basically, schedule our whole lives around the landlord. To quote my parents, this guy is a real monkey! I signed this lease aggreement whenever we first moved here. I paid a deposit for $350, and, supposedly, have to stay here for 2 years, or else I'll lose that $350 deposit. But, let me tell you, I'd rather lose $350 than to put up with this guy! We've been looking for a new house these last couple weeks. It's getting a little discouraging, and even sickening, when we see some of the prices of houses, but I'm sure we'll find something soon. Why can't all landlords be loveable, and cuddly, like "Mr. Furley," or even "Mr. Roper," from "Three's Company?"

New Headquarters

Hey there! We finally got the computer moved into the new trailer, last night. Everything is going slow, but good. All of the Cruel Music stuff is still with Mom and Dad. It'll probably stay there, actually, because there's just so much of, and I don't really feel like moving it all here. But, the big news is that we have the computer here, now, and we can sorta get back to normal business operations. =) I've got the day off, today, so I'm looking forward to spending lots of lazy time with my Denise.

Attention friends, Romans, and countrymen. I moved to South Williamson, yesterday. Big, historic moment, man! I've lived with my parents forever. Now, I live with my Denise. <3<3<3 Hope to have some pictures of the place up real soon, as well as some more pictures of us. Just for the record, I'm happy, happy right now...

Happiness!!!!

These are from mine and my Denise's big May 9, 2006 photo shoot...

"I’ll Hold You in My Heart Till I Can Hold You In My Arms"

Elvis Presley... (words & music by t. dilbeck)

I said I’d hold you in my heart ’till I can hold you in my arms

Like you’ve never been held before

Well I’ll think of you each day and then I’ll dream the night away

Oh, ’till you are in my arms once more

The stars up in the sky, you know they know the reason why

I feel so blue ’cause I’m away from you

Yeah I’ll hold you in my heart ’till I can hold you in my arms

Oh darling please wait for me

"Real Love"

~John Lennon

All my little plans and schemes

Lost like some forgotten dream

Seems like all I really was doing

Was waiting for you

Just like little girls and boys

Playing with their little toys

Seems like all they really were doing

Was waiting for you

Don't need to be alone

No need to be alone

It's real love

It's real, yes it's real love

It's real

From this moment on I know

Exactly where my life will go

Seems that all I really was doing

Was waiting for love

Don't need to be afraid

No need to be afraid

It's real love

It's real, yes it's real love

It's real

Thought I'd been in love before,

But in my heart I wanted more

Seems like all I really was doing

Was waiting for you

Don't need to be alone

No need to be alone

It's real love

Yes it's real, yes it's real love

It's real, yes it's real love...

Happy, happy!!!

I don't mean to brag, here, but... MAN, MY LIFE IS GOING SOOOO GOOD RIGHT NOW!!! I thought I was in love once before... Came close to that feeling again in December... But, neither of those were love at all! Boys and Girls, *THIS* is love!!! Denise is sooooooooo awesome! I love her so much! Some people spend their entire lives trying to find their soul mates... There's no doubt in my mind that I've found my soul mate... Actually, my soul mate found me! Can't wait for all y'all to meet her! She's just the sweetest thing I've ever met. I love you, Denisey!!! Life is so good!

Update on Mom

Hey gang! My mom is doing good now. She had surgery, Thursday. She's still in the hospital right now, but Dad says they're going to let her come home tomorrow. My friends at work have been really encouraging for me. Thanks for all your kind words, and stuff.

"Sabbra Cadabra"

BLACK SABBATH

Feel so good I feel so fine

Love that little lady always on my mind

Gives me lovin' every night and day

Never gonna leave her, never goin' away

Someone to love me

You know she makes me feel alright

Someone who needs me

Love me every single night

Feel so happy since I met that girl

When we're making love it's something out of this world

Feels so good to know that she's all mine

Going to love that woman 'til the end of time

Someone to live for

Love me 'til the end of time

Makes me feel happy

Good to know that she's all mine

Lovely lady make love all night long

Real-Life Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, there was a Sweet Princess. This Sweet Princess was very sad and lonely. She had spent the last two years trying to find the man of her dreams, and was beginning to think that she would never find true love.

A few miles down the road, lived a lonely guy, who was also looking for the love of a lifetime. He had just came out of a very difficult relationship. The girl he liked left him for an evil drug lord, and ruined his life... The lonely guy was so sad! He was ready to give up on ever finding true love, because every time he thought he'd found a good girl, she'd end up hurting him.

Then, one day, the Sweet Princess found the lonely guy on the internet. It was love at first sight for her. She just KNEW that the lonely guy was the guy she'd been looking for all her life. She began writing letters to the lonely guy. The Sweet Princess would tell the lonely guy that she really liked him a lot, but, still hurting from his past failures, the lonely guy thought it was just a joke. "Surely no girl could ever love me!" he thought. But, the Sweet Princess would not give up. She kept telling the lonely guy, "I really love you!!!" Finally, the lonely guy's pain began to ease, and he opened his mind to the possibility that, yes, maybe he could fall in love, after all...

After writing to the Sweet Princess for about a month, the Sweet Princess called the lonely guy. Immediately after hearing her sweet voice, the lonely guy fell in love with the Sweet Princess. He knew this was true love at last! The two young lovers began talking on the phone to one another nearly every day. And, with every passing day, their love grew stronger and stronger. The two lovers quickly realized that they were soul mates, and were destined to spend their lives together. It took a while, but they finally got to meet, face to face, and on that day, they were never apart again. The Sweet Princess had found her Sweet Prince, and together, they lived happily ever after...

I'm in love with the girl I'm talking about....

Denise... Denise... Denise... Denise... Denise... Denise... Denise... Denise... Denise... <3<3<3

Update

I've been out of contact for a while. Been kinda busy with work, and stuff. This is mostly for old friends... I'm pretty sure everyone in the family knows by now... But, Mom has cancer again. She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, last week. Third time she's had cancer! She's going to have a hysterectomy next Thursday, in Huntington. She's a tough lady. I know she's going to beat this again. But, your prayers would be appreciated. Many thanks! Hope to get back to writing y'all soon. It's been too long! I miss ya's!

I've been feeling more paranoid than usual, these last couple days. I thought I'd make a few minor changes, like delete my profile on MySpace, and maybe erase all of my personal information from the blog, and over at Cruel Music... But, the more I think about this, the more paranoid I'm becoming! Yeah... I'm going to go back to the stone age on this thing! I don't trust electronic devices, period. I'm going to change my internet provider, email address, and get my phone number changed. Sorry for the inconvience, and stuff... Things are pretty weird here. Anyone wishing to contact me can reach me at my postal address. That's the only thing I'm not going to change. Back to the Stone Age! Kinda sounds like a movie title...

Nevermind...

I must apologize to those of you wanting to hear my massive, brutal, aggressive songs. I never got around to recording those. Now I don't want to sing them, period, because the tide has changed. I'm not a very good actor. Never have been. So, I can't pretend to be angry, and sing those heavy songs with the amount of emotion and sincerity that they deserve, because that's all in the past now. I'm not bitter anymore. I've completely numbed my feelings toward those responsible for making me angry and bitter. I could care less about these people, so they don't deserve to have songs about them... Yeah, turns out I'm more interested in writing love songs, at the moment. I'm in the process of falling deeply in love, right now, and, I don't mind telling you, I've never been happier in my life! Thank you, Denise! <3

News (I think...)

Hey, All! Just wanted to make a little, itty, bitty note about what I've been up to lately... Yeah, there are still a select few people from my "old life," who don't hate me, and are still interested in my affairs, and stuff, and drop by here from time to time... I must say, again, that I'm really lovin' my *NEW* life, though, and the wonderful people I've surrounded myself with. They've been a real blessing, during these trying times. Thank you! Especially Denise! =) How great is she?! Wish y'all could know her. She's probably the sweetest thing I've ever encountered! A lot of love in the making, there! Heh heh. Making love... Or maybe I could sing that old 80's song, "Making love out of nothing at all..." Well, maybe not tonight...

Anyway... On the Cruel Music side of things... Believe it, or not, but I *AM* still writing new songs when I get the chance. And, given the events of these last few months, these lyrics are the most aggressive I've ever written in my life. Hey, I've got a right to be angry! I'm just choosing to deal with my anger, and bitterness, through my music. Create something positive out of these horrible experiences, you know? Yeah, leave it to failed attempts at love to bring about such creativity! Just keep in mind, the lyrics on this soon-to-be-released CD are not a reflection of how I'm feeling now. I haven't been this happy in over a year!

What's happening to me?!

God help me, I like a Static X song! Heh heh. It's called "Dirthouse." Have you heard this yet? Man, it rocks! Some other scarey notes: I like a Korn song, too. "Twisted Transistor." And, also, Limp Bizkit "Behind Blue Eyes." Man... I'm worried about myself now... Numetal?! Yikes!

WDN Chatters 801

Haven't done this for a while... I was bored, okay?! It's kinda looking like this is going to be the fate of WDN Chatters.

1. Spell your first name backwards: gubenuj.... What does that prove?! :P
2. Story behind your myspace name: Umm... It's my name...
3. What month were you born in? November
4. Where do you live? Right over there, USA. Heh.
DESCRIBE YOUR:
5. Wallet: It's black, it folds three times, it doesn't have any pictures in it (other than my driver's license), it has $80 in it, and a couple other things that I won't mention.
7. Toothbrush: It's red, and it's white, and it's the coolest thing I've ever owned in my life!
8. Jewelry worn daily: My guitar pick necklace.
9. Pillow cover right now: Blue, with some saliva on it.
11. Underwear: (What happened to #10?!) Sexy briefs.
12. Best friend: Died
13. Sunglasses: Kinda John-Lennon-like
14. Favorite shirt: My other one.
15. Cologne/Perfume: No thanks.
16. CD in stereo: Coldplay in my car, Aqualung in my bedroom, a compilation CD (Smashing Pumpkins, right now) in my computer.
17. Piercings: No. Never. You can't take me alive!
WHAT ARE YOU:
18. Wearing now: Jeans, as usual, and a baggy, orange shirt.
19. Wishing: World peace (note: I'm pissing in the other hand...)
20. Wanting: Love, acceptance, the ability to move on...
26. The last thing you ate: (someone really can't count! 20, 26?!) Pizza. It was good!
27. Something you are deathly afraid of: Death(?)
Do you...
28. Do you like candles: Not really, but I don't hate them, if that's what you mean...
29. Do you like the taste of blood: Heh. I tried that once. She liked it, but I didn't.
30. Do you believe in love: Yeah, but I still believe in Santa Clause, too, so that's not saying much.
32. Do you believe in soul mates: (Again, no #31...) Yeah... If you see her around anywhere, tell her I've been looking all over for her!
35. Do you believe in God: Yes I do. You can shoot me if you want, but I do.
(Big skip in the sequence here..)
43. What's something you wish you could understand better: Why a woman would rather be with a guy who's a worthless, drunken, druggie, jobless, racist idiot, than a guy who treated her like a princess... I'll never understand it. Could someone explain this to me?!
RELATIONSHIPS:
(maybe these next questions are important enough to make up for #44 and 45...)
46. How many people have you kissed? Oh, wow, let me think about it... There's just so many! Yeah... 2. I was tricked into it with both girls...
47. Are you shy around your crush? I have no crushes. I'm tired of wasting my time on that crap!
48. Still have feelings for anyone in a past relationship? No I don't. None.
49. Do you know what it feels like to be in love? I thought so. Then, I discovered that she was an evil, heartless crack-whore.
50. Would you sacrifice your favorite possession for your best friend? No! I paid 30 bucks for my walkman! Screw you! I'm kidding... Of course I would!
FASHION STUFF:
51. Where is your favorite place to shop? Any music store.
(I give up... No #52...)
53. What is your favorite thing to wear? Socks.
54. What is a must have accessory? I have to wear a hat when I work... Does that count?
55. How much is the most you've ever spent in a single clothing store? 10, 15 dollars... Who knows?!
56. Who is the least fashionable person you know? Probably me.
57. Do you match your belt with your hair color? Always!
59. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Like, 10, or something...
60. What is the worst trend you see today? Pop music.
61. Do you do drugs? No. Unlike other people, I enjoy life.
62.What kind of soap do you use? Whatever...
63.What are you listening to right now? Jet. It's pretty cool, actually.
65. Who was the last person that called you? A telemarketer. I told him that I died.
66. Where do you want to get married? On the riverbank.
67. How many buddies are online right now? I have no "buddies." No... I'm lying again. I don't use MSN, or any of that stuff very often. I've got it closed / offline / whatever right now...
69. What are essentials in your life? People who aren't brewing up a diabolical plan to hurt me.
70. Do you send out holiday cards each year? *CHRISTMAS* cards, thank you.... And, yes, I do.
71. Hair right now: Kinda nappy. It hasn't been brushed in about 4 days.
72. mood: Over her.

Playing With Fire

This is one of my favorite stories of symbolism. Maybe I've told this story before, but who cares?!
...Babies are very curious creatures. They always try to get into something. There's usually an adult figure around to teach babies right from wrong, and protect them from things that will hurt them. Like, "Don't touch the stove, you'll get burned!" "Fire - hot -burn." Things of that nature... Maybe they'll try to touch the fire anyway, just to see if there's any truth to the warnings. So, the baby touches the fire, and, sure enough, it gets burned. Usually, one time will do the trick. The baby gets burned once, and learns to never touch fire again. But, sometimes it takes more than once. The baby might touch fire 2 or 3 times. Eventually, though, that baby is going to think, "Frig, that hurts! I'm never going to touch that again!" Well... That's kinda what has happened to me. I've been "burned" several times, lately. But, I've finally learned my lesson! I'm not going to "play with fire" anymore! It's a very liberating feeling, knowing that you will never hurt me again...

Adjusting...

So, I'm adjusting... I like my new life! It's fun, and liberating, and stuff... Betcher wondering what happened to my old life, huh? Me too!!! Well, as most of you know, I've been a hermit for the better part of 10 years now. I wouldn't socialize with anyone, I wouldn't go anywhere, I'd just stay in my room all day long. Well... In November, I discovered that there's so much more to life than being a hermit. "I got by with a little help from my friends," I guess you could say. My friends gave me a brand new, shiny SOCIAL LIFE. I had a lot of fun with my new-found life for a couple months. A LOT!!! But, all of a sudden, my shiny, happy social life was taken away from me. Oddly enough, it was taken by the same people responsible for giving it to me in the first place! I'm not mad, or anything. Just making a point. I'm very grateful for the opportunity to experience those 2 months of happiness. And, actually, I was expecting it to end from the very moment that it began. That's just my nature. I'm a very pessimistic person, and I always expect the worse of things. But still, even though I was expecting it all along, it still kinda left me in shock when it actually did end. I spent most of February trying to plot my next move. "Should I go back to being a hermit again?" "Should I find new friends?" Stuff like that... Anyway... I'm quite pleased to announce that I'M BACK!!! Yeah, man! I came to the conclusion that I shouldn't go back to my hermit ways, and that I should continue with the social life that was given to me. Pick up where we left off, or something... The thing is, no one really wants to be around me anymore, for whatever reasons. My friends sorta turned their backs on me, and left me here all alone. So... My solution for this little situation is that I have become an EXTREME HERMIT (patent pending...)!!! By that, I mean that I am doing the same types of things that I did when I had my brief social life... I'm just doing it alone now. Case in point:

On Friday night, March 10, I went to Logan, and watched a KICK ASS benefit concert, featuring local bands, ALL BY MYSELF. Sure, I might've looked like an idiot sitting there alone, but I HAD FUN!!!

And, last night... March 12... I went to Charleston, and saw my long-time heroes, MOTLEY CRUE, in concert!!! And, again, I was alone, but I had a blast!

Wish y'all could "be there" with me, as I embark on this new chapter. I'm having a lot of fun being an "Extreme Hermit." But, I guess you've got better things to do...

P.S. If there's anyone out there, reading this right now, I just wanted to say: If you don't like Motley Crue, there's something terribly wrong with you! They're STILL an amazing band!

Message In A Bottle

It's funny... I didn't want to go out with you 10 years ago, so why would I want to now?! Come on, man!!! Let it go already!!! Quit calling me, it's not funny! How old are you now, anyway? Like, 27? 28? Somewhere around there? Good Lord, you act like you're 12! I bet you had fun, last night, going to the trouble of setting up a fake profile on Yahoo Personals, just for your little "joke" on me, huh? I just don't get it... I mean, I'm the kind of person that'll laugh at just about anything, but GAWD, you're just retarded! I kinda wish I was still working at Magic Mart, just so I could confront you on this matter, but actually, I JUST DON'T CARE! You're wasting your time!

I don't think I'm finding many good ones... What's happening here?!






































Those are from 12-6-05...

Heh. Christmas 2005. I look so excited (in all of these)!















(With Dad up there ^ ...Turns out that he's a little camera shy, and requested that I remove his picture from here. I guess he doesn't like the idea of his picture being on the internet, where millions of people can see it every day... And Scruffy down here... She doesn't care who sees her picture. She's a trooper!)

Oh, wow! Here's a couple from one year ago, THIS VERY DAY! Check it out, it's when I had that mullet! Heh heh.







(Look, my car only had half of its "sticker mohawk.")

So... I think I'm getting ready to give online dating YET ANOTHER try! I'm thinking maybe it'd help if I'd post some pictures of myself this time (You think?!). So, I'm scanning a few pictures for my Yahoo Personals profile. How does this one look?

"Land Of Sunshine"

FAITH NO MORE

You have a winning way, so keep itYour future

You are an angel heading for the land of sunshine

And fortune is smiling upon you

Prepare for a series of comfortable miracles

From fasting to feasting

And life to you is a dashing bold adventure

So sing and rejoice

And look for the dream that keeps coming back

Your future

Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a handshake

Cuz everything is not yet lost
Does life seem worthwhile to you?

HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!

Yes, hmm hmm, now for the next question

Does emotional music have quite an effect on you?

Do you feel sometimes like age is against you?

Sing and rejoice and sing and rejoice

Yes, hmm hmm, that's interesting.

But tell me, do you often sing or whistle just for fun?

Do you feel sometimes like age is against you?

I, I can help - I can help you - I can help you help yourself!
Does life seem worthwhile to you?

HERE'S HOW TO ORDER!

Varicose

Comatose

Senile

I mean, where is it written that guys have to do all the work?! Why do GUYS always have to be the ones to ask girls out?! It's not fair, I tell you! Girls have it made! All they've gotta do is sit back, and watch one guy after another come along, and ask them out. Then, all they've got to do is just decide whether to go out with the poor sap, or lie to him, and tell him they have a boyfriend... Actually, I guess drugs make it easier for some guys. All these guys have to do is flash a bag of weed in front of a girl, and she'll be all over him. Then, once he has her hooked, like a fish, he just reels her in, and offers her all the coke, or pills, or booze that she'll ever need... Thus, this guy insures that he gets to keep the girl for as long as he sees fit. Then, after a while, he kicks her to the curb... But, that's another story for another day... What I'm talking about here, and now, is us poor shy guys, who DON'T do drugs. The NICE guys, who'll treat a girl like a princess, and idol the ground that she walks on, and love her, and respect her until the day he dies. For some strange reason, from my experience at least, girls nowadays don't WANT nice guys. They'd prefer to be treated like crap. They prefer low-life guys, who beat on them, or who go out with other girls... I just don't get it! Oh, but I'm rambling off-topic again...

GUILTY AS CHARGED!!!

Okay, so yeah, that was me, I admit it! That was *ME* that left the note on "Texas Girl's" windshield today. I'm shy, okay?! What else can I do, you know?! She's cute! I'd like to talk to her, but I don't really know how to start a conversation. Especially when both of us are walking with our headphones on. Heh heh. So, I stuck a note on her windshield, with my email address on it. I was, supposedly, going to remain anonymous, and be all mysterious about it, and stuff... But, then I realized, after I left, that the address I used is posted *ALL OVER* the internet! "Texas Girl" could *VERY EASILY* type it in on Google, or Yahoo, or something, and know INSTANTLY, who the weirdo was, who left a note on her windshield. D'oh!!! Oh well... Maybe she doesn't have internet access. Maybe she's not reading this right this minute. Maybe I'll be able to "get my wits about me" one day, and actually talk to her, using words, and stuff...

I just heard some disturbing news. Turns out that my picture is on the Internet! My source says that, apparently, "a friend" was the one who posted my picture like that, for the whole world to see. Man, how humiliating! It even tells where I work, and everything! Gawd, I feel so violated! I wonder what kind of website that could possibly be?! Blogger.com? MySpace.com? Or, heaven's to Betsy, CruelMusic? What's this world coming to?!

"Never Talking To You Again"

Foo Fighters

There are things that I'd like to say,
But I'm never talking to you again.
Things I'd like to phrase someway,
I'm never talking to you again.
Never talking to you again.
Never talking to you.
Tired of wasting all my time
Trying to talk to you.

I'd put you down where you belong,
But I'm never talking to you again.
Show you every way you're wrong,
I'm never talking to you again.
Never talking to you again.
Never talking to you.
Tired of wasting all my time
Trying to talk to you.
Talking to you...

I'm never talking to you again.
Never talking to you again.
Tired of wasting all my time
Trying to talk to you.

HAPPY valentine's day...

"Love Hate Love"

Alice In Chains

I tried to love you

I thought I could
I tried to own you

I thought I would
I want to peel the skin from your face
Before the real you lays to waste

You told me I'm the only one
Sweet little angel- you should have run
Lying, crying, dying to leave
Innocence creates my hell

Cheating myself

Still you know more
It would be so easy

With a whore
Try to understand me little girl
My twisted passion to be your world

Lost inside my sick head
I live for you but I'm not alive
Take my hands before I kill
I still love you, I still burn
Love, hate, love

"I'LL FOLLOW THE SUN"

The Beatles

One day, you'll look to see I've gone

For tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.

Some day you'll know I was the one.

But, tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.

And now the time has come, and so, My Love, I must go.

And though I lose a friend, in the end you will know. Oh, oh...

One day, you'll find that I have gone.

For tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.

Yes, tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.

And now the time has come, and so, My Love, I must go.

And though I lose a friend, in the end you will know. Oh, oh...

One day, you'll find that I have gone.

But, tomorrow may rain, so I'll follow the sun.

Okay... Now that I'm done chasing silly little pipe dreams, I can get back to business...

A while back, you'll remember, I was talking about the new Antiseptic Anxiety project. Well... I've been having some technical difficulties with my recording device (that nifty Zoom PS-04). Can't seem to get the music off the Zoomy, and on to my computer. Weird things... Now that I've got a little free time on my hands, I should be able to figure something out soon.

Been working on the new Cruel Music web site. Totally revamped, and rerocked, and restuffed with all sorts of cool effects, and whatnot. I'm digging it. Hope you's like. I'll be unveiling it Wednesday (It's the February tradition, ya know?), so be sure to stop by for that.

"THAT'S WHAT I GET"

Nine Inch Nails

Just when everything was making sense

You took away all my self-confidence

Now all that i've been hearing must be true

I guess i'm not the only boy for you

But that's what i get

That's what i get

That's what i get

That's what i get

How could you turn us into this?

After you just taught me how to kiss you.

I told you i'd never say goodbye.

Now i'm slipping on the tears you made me cry.

But that's what i get

That's what i get

That's what i get

That's what i get

Why does it come as a surprise

To think that i was so naive

Maybe didn't mean so much

But it meant everything to me

But that's what i get

That's what i get

That's what i get

That's what i get

So... Getting back to Cruel Music. 2006 should be a pretty promising year for Cruel Music. I have a lot of fun ideas floating around in my head. Planning some big, major things in terms of visual art. Not a lot of musical plans, but this is going to be a big year for video. Kinda following the seeds that were planted in 2005 (which saw an impressive FOUR video releases. Up from 2004's measly two releases, and 2003's one release). See, there's a whole new level of trust, and friendship brewing amongst the "Brotherhood," at work. Lots of respect to my friends at the grocery store! I'm kinda toying with the idea of, somehow, bringing them into Cruel Music, in some capacity. See, we're having a lot of fun there, these days. We've always joked around, and whatnot. But, since my triumphant return to the company, in November, we've just been flat-out HILARIOUS! A lot of funny things happening every day. It makes working seem like a pleasure. I really like it (a lot). So, we're trying to come up with a way to capture all of our nonsense at work on tape. Somehow. We haven't quite got the bugs worked out of that yet. It kinda makes sense to have some sort of hidden camera deal going. But, since comedy strikes at any given moment, at the grocery store, we'd probably have to keep the tapes rolling all day long. It's difficult, right now... But, this is some GOOD material, we're working on. I'm really having a lot of fun with it. All of it! The celebrities, the crazy customers, and the newly discovered art of messing with people in restuarants... Good Stuff!

Hey, hey! What do you say?

I don't even know what I was going to say, actually. I guess I'll just do some mumbo-jumbo-type of deal...

I think I'm getting sick. Who knows?! I've been saying that since, like, September, and it's just not happening. My throat feels weird, though. Really, it does! I promise!

So, I've been getting some interesting emails, lately, from some interesting people, from some interesting places all around the world. It's been fun. I likes the fun! I really hate forwards, though. I usually just delete them, without reading them. I'm sorry...

Tell me why my phone line has been down every other day for the last couple weeks...

It's been a wild ride, these last few months. I think I'm ready to retire, and just go back to being a hermit. Or, at least, just hybernate for the winter, or something. I really want to just be depressed, and hide from the world, in the safety of my room. Some certain people won't let that happen, though! ;P "I miss the comfort in being sad." I try my best to hate myself, but everyone keeps telling me how great I am, and it's making things difficult for me. It's kinda funny. Kinda ironic.

I think I'm getting sick... Heh heh. Actually, I think I'll go gargle some salt water. Thanks for believing in me. I really would like to join you, in your world, but I just don't think I belong there. Anywhere.

Happy New Year, Or Something!

Wishing y'all a very happy New Year. Hope you, and everyone you know, are doing well. I miss you. Give me a call sometime. I'm not a hermit anymore. I like to do stuff and things.

P.S. Don't know if you know my cousin, Hobie, but I want everyone out there to know that he is AWESOME!!! Hobie, if you're reading this, by some weird coincidence, THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Friday night could have been deadly, if not for you. God bless you, sir.

Nice Forward From Uncle Tim

{I agree with this...}

==================

YOU CAN'T STEAL MY CHRISTMAS

I don't know who they are, saying I can't greet the crowd the way that I want to. Can't say CHRISTMAS out loud. I walk into a business place, see things that I rather not see, but dare I not say CHRISTMAS, and ask for a "holiday" tree. What happened to freedom of speech, and living in the land of the free? How can they take my CHRISTMAS money, but can't say MERRY CHRISTMAS to me? Men and women have given their lives so we could still go free. I wonder how they would feel at saying "HOLIDAY" TREE? Come on, AMERICA, let's wake up! Don't let our freedom escape. If they get by with doing this what else will they take? This is starting to get out of hand, and I've begun to keep track. Well, I've just about had enough. I'M TAKING CHRISTMAS BACK. So MERRY CHRISTMAS, AMERICA. I hope this gets all over the net. If we all stand united and take freedom back 'twill be our best CHRISTMAS YET!

Merry Christmas Everybody

That Insane Friday!!!

Goodness! How was YOUR Friday? Let me tell you, mine sucked!!! Actually... No, it was pretty fun, now that I think about it. Heh heh. It should've sucked, but it didn't. How weird is that?! It was a very full day. Not very productive, but full... I woke up around 8:20, I think it was. 8:20 in the A.M. I ate. I went to the floodwall for my daily freeze / torture / walk. 9:45, I went to the Post Office (Surprise, no mail for me!!! Sarcastic...) I came home. Checked my email (Surprise, no mail for me!!! Heh.) I watched "Quantum Leap." 11:15, I ate again (some deliciously tastey South Beach Diet Southwestern Grilled Chicken soft tacos. Two of them, and a small cup of cherry Jello. And, I never ate again the rest of the day. Didn't even get hungry... Weird...). 11:40, left for work. Had to stop at the bank, first, and then go to the liquor store to pick up Chris's usual 5th of Maker's Mark (every Christmas, this happens to me! I don't drink. I don't frequently visit the liquor store. Just every year for CHRIStmas. Chris.) 11:57, clocked on for work. Did the usual, there. Turkeys, chicken, hamburger, hams, all day... 4:55pm, lunch. I left a couple minutes earlier than planned, because work was so insanely busy I didn't want to wait for 5:00 to roll around. I left while I had a chance. So, "lunch." I didn't eat. I went to the mall with Chris. Bath & Body Works (first time I've ever been in there!), Dawhares, Peebles, and Magic Mart (for the second time since I quit working there. The first was, oddly enough, also with Chris. I felt really awkward being there the first time. Not as bad, today.) Oh yeah, then we went to WalMart. 6:05, back to work. Work, work, work... And, I didn't get off work until 11:58pm!!! I worked a 12-hour shift!!! Crap, man!!! I ended the week with 53.19 hours. Gotta be a world record, or something! Heh heh. So, if you're wondering why I haven't been in contact much this week, that's why. I worked myself silly! But, it was fun. That's the weird thing. Fun?! At Christmas time?! Christmas 2004 "broke me," and made me lose the will to work any longer. I started job-hunting in January 2005, as a result. I didn't find any jobs, of course, and the rest is, as they say, history... CHANGES, BABY!!! This time last year I was miserable because of work. This year, my normal life kinda has me miserable, and I look forward to working to escape... I'm pretty confident that the future will be better, but, as I said a couple posts ago, I'm living in the present tense now, and I'm not worried about the future anymore... Because I know it's going to be awesome. Betcha didn't know I was psychic, did you? Yeah, there's a lot you don't know! Ummm... Yeah.... Anyway... So, it's 1am now. I have to wake up for work at 6am. Working back on my normal, early hours next week. 7-4 tomorrow... Lunch at 12... And, the beat goes on... Smile for me. I'm happy being with my friends. It's fun to have friends again. I'm happy?! Wow! Yeah, I think so... Hope your world is as fun as mine. Funner, actually. I'm just easily amused. Maybe my world seems boring to you. Who knows?! But, yeah, smile. Be happy. Be thankful. Love. Yeah, I can't wait for the future. It's going to be great! But, the present tense ain't so bad...

Ever heard of MySpace.com? It's a pretty cool place to be. A friend introduced me to it. I've been hanging out there more than I have here, lately. I've sent everyone I know email-thingies, inviting y'all to sign up. Not many takers on that, for some reason... Come on, people! Get with it! I need more friends there! I've only got 11 right now. Most people have, like, a gazillion, or something.

Ever mail a letter, and then, after you drop it in the box, think, "Man, I shouldn't have mailed that!," because you said some pretty dumb things in the letter? That's happened to me twice, lately. I mean, letter #1 was dumb, you know? And, I tried to correct the dumbness of that letter, in letter #2, yesterday, and, I think, I probably did more damage than good... Can we just pretent like I never mailed either one of those letters? You know, the one in August, before I went to Myrtle Beach, and the one yesterday... That would be nice... It's just... I don't know! I can't find the words to say! I don't know whether to be bubbling with joy, or if I should just jump off a cliff... Wasn't there a lame 80's movie, where this guy mailed a letter like that, and then he tried to beat the mail truck to his girlfriend's house, and steal the letter from the mail man, so his girlfriend wouldn't see how lame he was? Remember that one? Andrew McCartney, I think... I could TOTALLY do that, you know? Thing is, the letter has a pretty good head start on me, now. I estimated that the letter would arrive in her hands by Friday. What if it gets there tomorrow?! I don't know... I mean, I feel weird! Why can't I just feel like I have always felt, for the last 11 years? Why do I always feel like I'm embarrassing myself now?! Why can't I just be myself?! It's weird, man...

I'm not exercising enough!

I'm listening to some Mexican music, right now. Chingon. Makes me feel better. Happy music.

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYONE!!!

Dumb Dream #1

Okay, it's official, now. I'm OFFICIALLY a weirdo! I had the stupidest dream EVER, last night. I dreamed that I was asked to drive a school bus. Take the kids to school, you know? I don't know what happened to the regular bus driver. I was just walking down the road (at the railroad crossing to be exact), and there was a school bus sitting there, full of kids. My dad was there, for some reason. He's the one that asked me to drive the bus. I was like, "Dad, why don't YOU drive it?! I don't even know how to drive a stick!" He said, "Oh, there's nothing to it. Go ahead, and take these kids to school. It'll just take you a few minutes." I paused, and looked at him kinda confused. Then, he snapped at me (as Dad tends to do, with his short temper, and all), "Hurry up, you're going to make them late for school!" So, I drove a school bus full of kids to school. I did a pretty good job at it, actually. Maybe that's a sign from God, or something... "Go forth, and drive school buses. Let not ye waste ye time working at the grocery store." Could be...

19 Days Later...

For the first time in a VERY long time, I'm living in the present tense. For the longest time, I've not been able to do that. Am I making sense? What I'm saying is, I used to always be thinking about the past... "The Good Old Days" of 1992, or whatever. I'd be all depressed, and stuff, thinking, "Woe is me! If only life could be as good as it used to be!" You know, there's that, and the future, too. Yeah, I used to spend my time either living in the past, or the FUTURE. Not that I'm trying to be all Sci-Fi, or something. I'm serious! I'd spend my days day-dreaming about what's going to happen. What might happen. What could happen. Crap like that. So, yeah, I'm living in the PRESENT TENSE now, for a change. And, I'm loving every minute of it! I appreciate the past, and all, but I don't need to live there anymore. And, I could care less about the future. Whatever happens will happen for a reason. NOW is good. Oh, man, now is SOOO good!!! I'm extremely grateful. YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?! WEST SIDE, Y'ALL!

Hey, I've not blogged for a while! I'm all sleepy, and stuff. I should've went to bed an hour ago. Big day of fun planned for tomorrow. I should rest, actually... I'll blog later. Oh, yeah, my wrist is doing better now.

Attack of the One-Armed Man

I screwed my left wrist up, yesterday, at work. I did it at work, but it's not work's fault. Mom thinks I should report it, and whatnot, but, hey, these things happen! I mean, if the store sign, out front, would've fell on my wrist, or something, then yeah, I'd probably report it. But, the thing is, I was weighing hams, as I tend to do this time of year. My wrist popped out of place. And, it just kinda KEPT POPPING EVERY FIVE MINUTES after that. So, I'm sporting this big, black brace on my wrist now. I kinda like the attention. People keep saying, "What'd you do to your wrist Junebug?" You know, those people who pretend to be concerned... Heh. But, yeah, I'm going to be in this thing for the next week or so. I took it off, a few minutes ago, to wash up, and it popped immediately. Big fun pain! Funny thing is, my right wrist has been giving me trouble for the last couple weeks. It was feeling better, yesterday, and then I hurt the left one! Hilarious, huh? Hey, at least I can still play my guitar, so it's not THAT much of a bother.

I had a little spur-of-the-moment road trip up to Fostoria, OH, yesterday. One of my uncles died, Monday. My dad's oldest brother, Edgel. He was 83 years old. He'd been sick for the last couple years, so it's good that he's not suffering anymore, and he's in a better place now. Wish I would've known him, he lived a very full, and fruitful life. He would've been fun to have in my life, as I was growing up... Anyway... All along, my dad was saying that he didn't want to go to the funeral. All of a sudden, yesterday, around 1:00, he declared that he was going to go. Only problem there is that he doesn't know how to drive anywhere! So, he called 2 of his sisters, Martha, and "10," told them to get ready to go, because I was going to drive the 3 of them to Fostoria for the funeral. Heh heh. Dad's weird like that. So, I drove up them there... A 7-hour trip from Chatty... In my mom's car... Supposedly, it has more room in it than my car does. I can't see it, though. I was CRAMPED in that little thing, man! The whole thing was very rushed. We got there around 10, last night, I made a phone call (last time I'd ever talk to her... Had I known that I would've said more), woke up this morning, ate breakfast with Uncle Jim, went to the funeral, and came back home -- in a nice little snow storm. INSANITY!!! I wish I would've had more time to prepare the trip. It would've been nice to have seen some sights, and stuff. I could've even looked up my old pen pal, Dea, while I was in town. Even though we haven't been in touch for the last 7 or 8 years, or something. It still would've been cool to have met her. But, hey, I guess you don't really have time to plan things when it comes to funerals... All in all, it was a pretty nice little trip, though.