Is It Still 2004?

I'm having a hard time accepting that this is 2005. I don't know why. You know how you'll goof, and put the wrong year on things whenever you date them for the first few days of the new year? Then, you'll remember, and kinda laugh at yourself, and say, "Oh, yeah, it's not that year anymore! Har har har!!!" Well... This year is almost halfway over, and I still think it's 2004! I still refer to 2003 as "last year." I still date my letters, and other important documents, as "2004." I stopped laughing at myself a long time ago... I'm worried now. In an interesting twist, I DO understand that I'm 29 years old. It's just the year thing, man! Is there some sort of therapy, or something that I can go in for on this kind of thing? I'm well aware of the fact that time seems to pass faster the older we get. Years go by very quickly. Why can't I get over this thing? Someone, please, help me!!!

New Chatters!

FINALLY!!! A new episode of "Chatters" is up for your viewing enjoyment. You can find a link for said episode right about here. The story of this episode goes back a few years... 1998, I'm thinking... '97, maybe, but probably '98... Or, was that '96? Heh heh. It's based on the first "Reporters On The Beach" in Florida... Ahh, this just in, my sources tell me that it was, in fact, 1998! Good memory, huh? So... Back in 1998, the running joke of the week was the word "Hostel." Timmy and Ryan saw a hostel the year before, and we were making fun of that word for, like, the next 3 years, as we tended to do back then. Anyway... This episode features "WDN2" trying to figure out what the crap that word actually means, in a posting board over at Hostels.com. I actually posted my questions back in April, and I'm just starting to get responses out of the post. Long time coming on that one!

On a side note, you'll notice that the main Chatters page is undergoing some much-needed matainance. Hopefully, it'll look a little less cluttered, and a little more readable, when I get done with it. Enjoy!

Quote Of The Day

Steve: "It looks like you have a tumor on the side of your car."
Junebug: "It's not a tumuh!!!"

(We were talking about my Sirius satellite antenna. I just bought it today. It's pretty cool. You should get one! We had to stick the antenna to the side of my car, because the magnetic thingy wouldn't stick on my Mustang's trunk lid... Which reminds me...)

Quote of the Day II:
Steve: "I told you not to buy a Ford! This thing's got a plastic trunk on it!"

(Today was fun...)

Spam

Remember when spam was something that we actually enjoyed... It was a tastey beef bi-product, of some sort, and it was sold in those cool / fun blue cans...

I've seen it all now! Blogger.com has become some sort of haven for spammers. I like to browse around Blogger from time to time, and see if any other souls are as disturbed as mine. So, after my last post, I decided to do such browsing. I'm kinda pissed, because all I could find, when hitting the "next blog" button, was spam! Sad, people. Sad.

My Favorite Rejections

As you all know, I've been on a quest to find love for quite some time now. I started out the conventional way, by just asking girls out. I didn't have any luck there, so I turned to online dating services. Wouldn't you know it, I didn't have any luck there either, so I've come full-circle, and started asking again. Still no luck... But, I figured I shouldn't let this sort of thing get me down. So, I've decided to amuse myself by collecting girls' excuses. Now, here is a collection of some of my all-time favorite rejections:

* "I've got to go to the library."
* "I don't have time."
* "I have a boyfriend."
* "I can't. I'm getting ready to move to Huntington."
* "You're too old for me."
* "You're too young for me (this particular girl ended up seeing one of my former friends, who is 4 years YOUNGER than me. Go figure, eh?)."

And, then, there were two girls who didn't even give any excuses:

* One girl said yes, and acted like she wanted to go out with me, but when I went to pick her up, she ran away from me! True story.
* And finally, and probably the most painful one ever, was the one who was a friend for, like, a year and a half, but just stopped talking to me (and pretending like she didn't even know me!) after I asked her out.

So, yeah... It sucks to be me. I've yet to find a girl who has the guts to just come right out, and tell me the truth, though: "You're a hideous freak, and I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on the planet!" So, here's my challenge. If I ever hear that response (the truthful one), I will give the girl who says it $1,000 cash.

Sticky Situation

You may recall that I've been looking for a new job for the last few months. Not having a bit of luck with that. But... An interesting proposal came forth, last week (a week ago, today, actually). My old Kmart pal, Eddie, asked if I'd like to get a job with him at the movie theater. And, that would be awesome, if it wasn't a minimum wage job. One of the reasons I'm trying to get out of the grocery store is that the pay sucks, so it would be kinda dumb to quit for a job that pays even less than the grocery store. But... What about working at the movie theater part-time, while not working at the grocery store? That seems like a possibility! But, I'm afraid I'd be really tired, and whatnot. I mean, I stay tired all the time, as it is! But, dude, the job would be SIMPLE! Not to mention, I'd be working with some of my old Kmart crew again. And that, to me, would be worth being tired for! Heh heh. Seriously, though, those guys are great, and I REALLY DO want to try it out. I've been thinking about it all week. In weighing the positives against the negatives, there's no question about it, the positives are victorious! But... I've gotta make up my mind by tomorrow, and let Eddie and the guys know for sure. Difficulties...

Allergies: A New Fad

I've officially sold out! I've jumped on a bandwagon, for the first time in my life. Let me tell you, I couldn't be more thrilled to be a part of this little fad. It's the coolest thing I've ever been a part of in my 29 years here. It's a neat little thing called: Allergies (or would that be neat THINGS?). Every time I go for a walk, I start sneezing, my throat itches, and my eyes swell up! Heh heh. I tried to sell the product, you know? "Allergies: Try some today!" Maybe that'll do it... So, yeah... What's the deal with these crazy allergies?! I didn't have any allergies at all when I was a kid. It started when I was, like, 18. It get a little more unbearable every year. Actually, I don't remember having allergies last year... But, man, do they suck this year! I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy. (Do I have any enemies? Hmmm... Have to get back to you on that one...)

My Profile...

Back to those online dating services... I changed my profile (only on Yahoo! Personals, so far). Maybe this will turn a few heads:


i'm tall, and skinny. i have long hair, and crooked teeth. i'm hideous to look at. i gave up on trying to find love a long time ago. basically, i'm just looking for a "partner in crime," so to say. i love rock music. i hate country, and r&b/rap. if you like either country, or r&b/rap, don't even waste your time, or mine. i hate rich people. if you're rich, don't worry, because i hate most people, in general. i love life. real life, that is... not most people's idea of life, which rotates around work, consumerism, and money. i hate money. i hate the way the powers-that-be control people, and force us to work in order to "live." i hate that people have to waste two-thirds of their lives working. i hope to, one day, infiltrate the system, and change their rules, but until that day i have to play along. i love art. i have never watched a "reality" tv show in my life, but i know that i hate such shows, because they're artificial, and they contribute to everything that is wrong with the world. i hate sports for the same reason. i love to walk, and spend as much time as possible outdoors, enjoying (real) life.

New WDN? (!?)

Hey y'all! I've been rambling on the blog, lately, and haven't really been mentioning the topic at hand -- Cruel Music. I mean, that's why we're all here, right? Sure, of course, whatever... Well... I have a scoop. A big scoop! The scoop of the century, maybe! Honestly! It's been nearly a year since we've produced any sort of Cruel Music. But, all of that is about to change! A new WDN video will be coming out shortly! But, it's going to be in the obsolete VHS format, sadly. Sorry! That whole thing with recording on DVDs didn't quite pan out. I hope to fix that soon... But, the big news here is ***NEW WDN*** Not sure when, exactly, but it'll be soon (soon, I tell you!). I just have to take the time to edit everything. It should be, roughly, 2 hours in length. Most of it was recorded last year, and, to be honest, I don't even know what's on there. I seem to remember some footage of the big mudslide, and more crazy stuff with 10, and Joyce Gail... The usual...

Notice:

Don't look now, but I think rock music may be trying to make a comeback! No, really, this time! There's new CDs by Queens Of The Stone Age and Nine Inch Nail out right now, and next month will be Foo Fighters and The White Stripes. And, sometime soon there's going to be a new Pearl Jam CD... Haven't heard the release date for that one yet. You? But, anyway, you should run out and buy the new QOTSA and NIN right this minute, if you haven't already, because they're both great.

Funny Forward From Roger

I want to thank all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send
me your damn chain letters over the past two years.

Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy. Because of your concern...

I no longer can drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these
products are atheists who refuse to put "Under God" on their cans.

I no longer drink anything out of a can because I will get sick from the
rat feces and urine.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be
pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a
water buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our
American troops.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
stupid number for which I will get the phone bill from hell with calls
to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer date the opposite sex because they will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change once I receive my
free replacement pair from Nike. !

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I
forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.

(Jeeze, the BIBLE did not mention it works that way!)

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is
about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive
the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in
their special e-mail program.

Yes, I want to thank all of you soooooooo much for looking out for me!

I will now return the favor.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 60
seconds, a large bird with diarrhea will crap on your head at 5:00 PM
this afternoon and the fleas of a thousand camels will infest your
armpits. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a
friend of a friend of a friend ! of a friend of a friend of a friend of a
friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's 8th husband's 2nd cousin's 3rd husband's ex-wife's mother's beautician!!!

Curls

It's weird... My hair has been known to do some crazy things, in the 16 years that its been long. It's changed colors (blonde in the summer, and almost black in the winter), it all fell out in 2003, etc... But, its latest activity is that it's getting curly. Yeah... Curly! What's that crap all about?! My hair has always been straight, no matter what style or color it is. Oh well... At least I have hair now. I don't really care what it looks like, as long as it's there!

Back To The Old Drawing Board...

Oh well... So, I got this letter, today. It said that I didn't get that cool job, with the state, that I've been talking about. They've hired someone else. They sent a letter?! What's up with that?! Couldn't tell me in person?! Oh well... Everything happens for a reason... I'm still going to try to escape the clutches of the grocery store, though.

This makes me angry, too... Remember how I'm signed up with several of those online dating sites? Yeah, I'm still there... Can't seem to get a date on my on, and need an extra little nudge from online dating companies... Well, I've stated on every one of these profile things that I'm seeking someone close to home, someone in the area, ya know? So, why is it that I keep getting emails from these chicks that live miles away, in other states?! Pretty much every state, but the two I'm looking for!!! I mean, don't get me wrong, I like the attention, and all, but I don't want to drive 4,000 miles every time I want to take my chick out to the movies, or something. Sheesh!

Dumb Web Pages... Chapter 3

Hey, look what I found!

"M.C. Snot Rag- Nobody is sure what M.C. Snot Rag's actual name is. M.C. Snot Rag is a very rough character who simply oozes fear, awe, and a sense of foreboding from every pore in his body. Once in second grade the teacher asked M.C. Snot Rag to turn in his homework and he responded by eating her VW Bug in it's entirety, including the spare tire. M.C. Snot Rag got an "A+" that year and every year thereafter, while only attending class twice. Since nobody is entirely sure what specific sinister dealings M.C. Snot Rag is up to, most people in the county drive by his house once a week and throw some money out onto the lawn just to be safe. Dream- To learn to correctly spell Mississippi."

Not quite sure what that's all about...

Shedding Some Light On Dark Matters

Okay... A while back I mentioned something that I was cooking up, that was a bit of a secret. The cat's out of the bag, now. And, now that I think about it, it was kinda dumb for making it a secret, and pretending like it was some kind of big deal. I went to the state capital, last month, to take a civil service test, because I'm trying to get a better job... Yeah... As cool as it may seem, the grocery store sucks! I've got to get out of there, man! Don't get me wrong, I love the people I work with. They've grown on me, and I'm proud to say that they're my friends. That's why I kept it a secret that I was looking for another job, actually, because I was afraid my friends at there would get the wrong idea, or something. So, I went to the capital, that time, and got lost, and stuff. Then, I went to another town, and took the test. Well... As a result of that, I had a job interview, last Wednesday. And... Well... I still haven't heard anything from the new job. I'm waiting. Patiently. Wondering what to do. Should I call them, and see what's going on, or wait a little while longer? I don't know! But, if I get the job, it'll be awesome, because they get weekends and holidays off... Unlike the grocery store, where the employees have to work HARDER on weekends and holidays. So, yeah, I really hope the new place calls me soon, or something, because I'd really love to have this new job!

Forward...

(This is a forwarded email that I got from "Hubby." I've held on to it since Feb. 13. His internet went down not long after that, so this is one of the last bits of communication I had with him. He didn't write this, but he liked it, and sent it to me. Now, I'm sending it out for anyone who wants to read it here.)

=================

THE OLD MAN AND THE DOG


"Watch out! You nearly broad sided that car!" My father yelled at me. "Can't you do anything right?"

Those words hurt worse than blows. I turned my head toward the elderly man in the seat beside me, daring me to challenge him. A lump rose in my throat as I averted my eyes. I wasn't prepared for another battle.

"I saw the car, Dad. Please don't yell at me when I'm driving."

My voice was measured and steady, sounding far calmer than I really felt. Dad glared at me, then turned away and settled back.

At home I left Dad in front of the television and went outside to collect my thoughts. Dark, heavy clouds hung in the air with a promise of rain. The rumble of distant thunder seemed to echo my inner turmoil. What could I do about him?

Dad had been a lumberjack in Washington and Oregon. He had enjoyed being outdoors and had reveled in pitting his strength against the forces of nature. He had entered grueling lumberjack competitions, and had placed often. The shelves in his house were filled with trophies that attested to his prowess. The years marched on relentlessly. The first time he couldn't lift a heavy log, he joked about it; but later that same day I saw him outside alone, straining to lift it. He became irritable whenever anyone teased him about his advancing age, or when he couldn't do something he had done as a younger man.

Four days after his sixty-seventh birthday, he had a heart attack. An ambulance sped him to the hospital while a paramedic administered CPR to keep blood and oxygen flowing At the hospital, Dad was rushed into an operating room. He was lucky; he survived. But something inside Dad died. His zest for life was gone. He obstinately refused to follow doctor's orders. Suggestions and offers of help were turned aside with sarcasm and insults. The number of visitors thinned, then finally stopped altogether. Dad was left alone.

My husband, Dick, and I asked Dad to come live with us on our small farm. We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust. Within a week after he moved in, I regretted the invitation. It seemed nothing was satisfactory. He criticized everything I did. I became frustrated and moody. Soon I was taking my pent-up anger out on Dick. We began to bicker and argue.

Alarmed, Dick sought out our pastor and explained the situation. The clergyman set up weekly counseling appointments for us. At the close of each session he prayed, asking God to soothe Dad's troubled mind. But the months wore on and God was silent. A raindrop struck my cheek. I looked up into the gray sky. Somewhere up there was "God." Although I believe a Supreme Being had created the universe I had difficulty believing that God cared about the tiny human being on this earth. I was tired of waiting for a God who didn't answer.

Something had to be done and it was up to me to do it. The next day I sat down with the phone book and methodically called each of the mental health clinics listed in the Yellow Pages. I explained my problem in vain to each of the sympathetic voices that answered.

Just when I was giving up hope, one of the voices suddenly exclaimed, "I just read something that might help you! Let me go get the article." I listened as she read. The article described a remarkable study done at a nursing home All of the patients were under treatment for chronic depression. Yet their attitudes had improved dramatically when they were given responsibility for a dog.

I drove to the animal shelter that afternoon. After I filled out a questionnaire, a uniformed officer led me to the kennels. The odor of disinfectant stung my nostrils as I moved down the row of pens. Each contained five to seven dogs. Long-haired dogs, curly-haired dogs, black dogs, spotted dogs - all jumped up, trying to reach me. I studied each one but rejected one after the other for various reasons too big, too small, too much hair.

As I neared the last pen a dog in the shadows of the far corner struggled to his feet, walked to the front of the run and sat down. It was a pointer, one of the dog world's aristocrats. But this was a caricature of the breed. Years had etched his face and muzzle with shades of gray. His hipbones jutted out in lopsided triangles. But it was his eyes that caught and held my attention. Calm and clear, they beheld me unwaveringly.

I pointed to the dog. "Can you tell me about him?"

The officer looked, then shook his head in puzzlement. "He's a funny one. Appeared out of nowhere and sat in front of the gate. We brought him in, figuring someone would be right down to claim him. That was two weeks ago and we've heard nothing. His time is up tomorrow." He gestured helplessly.

As the words sank in I turned to the man in horror. "You mean you're going to kill him?"

"Ma'am," he said gently, "that's our policy. We don't have room for every unclaimed dog."

I looked at the pointer again. The calm brown eyes awaited my decision. "I'll take him," I said.

I drove home with the dog on the front seat beside me. When I reached the house I honked the horn twice.

I was helping my prize out of the car when Dad shuffled onto the front porch. "Ta-da! Look what I got for you, Dad!" I said excitedly.

Dad looked, then wrinkled his face in disgust. "If I had wanted a dog I would have gotten one.

And I would have picked out a better specimen than that bag of bones. Keep it! I don't want it."

Dad waved his arm scornfully and turned back toward the house.

Anger rose inside me. It squeezed together my throat muscles and pounded into my temples.

"You'd better get used to him, Dad. He's staying!" Dad ignored me. "Did you hear me, Dad?" I screamed.

At those words Dad whirled angrily, his hands clenched at his sides, his eyes narrowed and blazing with hate. We stood glaring at each other like duelists, when suddenly the pointer pulled free from my grasp. He wobbled toward my dad and sat down in front of him. Then slowly, carefully, he raised his paw.

Dad's lower jaw trembled as he stared at the uplifted paw. Confusion replaced the anger in his eyes. The pointer waited patiently. Then Dad was on his knees hugging the animal. It was the beginning of a warm and intimate friendship.

Dad named the pointer Cheyenne. Together he and Cheyenne explored the community. They spent long hours walking down dusty lanes. They spent reflective moments on the banks of streams, angling for tasty trout. They even started to attend Sunday services together, Dad sitting in a pew and Cheyenne lying quietly at his feet.

Dad and Cheyenne were inseparable throughout the next three years. Dad's bitterness faded, and he and Cheyenne made many friends. Then late one night I was startled to feel Cheyenne's cold nose burrowing through our bed covers. He had never before come into our bedroom at night. I woke Dick, put on my robe and ran into my father's room. Dad lay in his bed, his face serene. But his spirit had left quietly sometime during the night.

Two days later my shock and grief deepened when I discovered Cheyenne lying dead beside Dad's bed. I wrapped his still form in the rag rug he had slept on. As Dick and I buried him near a favorite fishing hole, I silently thanked the dog for the help he had given me in restoring Dad's peace of mind.

The morning of Dad's funeral dawned overcast and dreary. This day looks like the way I feel, I thought, as I walked down the aisle to the pews reserved for family. I was surprised to see the many friends Dad and Cheyenne had made filling the church.

The pastor began his eulogy. It was a tribute to both Dad and the dog who had changed his life. And then the pastor turned to Hebrews 13:2. "Be not forgetful to entertain strangers." "I've often thanked God for sending that angel," he said.

For me, the past dropped into place, completing a puzzle that I had not seen before: the sympathetic voice that had just read the right article...Cheyenne's unexpected appearance at the animal shelter. His calm acceptance and complete devotion to my father. and the proximity of their deaths. And suddenly I understood. I knew that God had answered my prayers after all

Herbert K. F.
2-21-41
4-12-05
Rest in peace, Uncle "Hubby."

This will never work, but it's worth a try, I guess...

Join the resistance!!!! I hear we are going to hit close to $3.00 a gallon by the summer and it might go higher!! Want gasoline prices to come down? We need to take some intelligent, united action.


Phillip Hollsworth, offered this good idea: This makes MUCH MORE SENSE than the "don't buy gas on a certain day" campaign that was going around last April or May! The oil companies just laughed at that because they knew we wouldn't continue to "hurt" ourselves by refusing to buy gas. It was more of an inconvenience to us than it was a problem for them. BUT, whoever thought of this idea, has come up with a plan that can really work.


Please read it and join with us! By now you're probably thinking gasoline priced at about $1.50 is super cheap. Me too! It is currently $2.09 for regular unleaded in my town. Now that the oil companies and the OPEC nations have conditioned us to think that the cost! of a gallon of gas is CHEAP at $1.50- $1.75, we need to take aggressive action to teach them that BUYERS control the marketplace....not sellers. With the price of gasoline going up more each day, we consumers need to take action. The only way we are going to see the price of gas come down is if we hit someone in the pocketbook by not purchasing their gas! And we can do that WITHOUT hurting ourselves. How? Since we all rely on our cars, we can't just stop buying gas. But we CAN have an impact on gas prices if we all act together to force a price war.


Here's the idea: For the rest of this year, DON'T purchase ANY gasoline from the two biggest companies (which now are one), EXXON and MOBIL. If they are not selling any gas, they will be inclined to reduce their prices. If they reduce their prices, the other companies will have to follow suit. But to have an impact, we need to reach literally millions of Exxon and Mobil gas buyers. It's really simple to do!! Now, don't whimp out on me at this point...keep reading and I'll explain how simple it is to reach millions of people!!


I am sending this note to about thirty people. If each of you send it to at least ten more (30 x 10 = 300) ... and those 300 send it to at least ten more (300 x 10 = 3,000)...and so on, by the time the message reaches the sixth generation of people, we will have reached over THREE MILLION consumers. If those three million get excited and ! pass this on to ten friends each, then 30 million people will have been contacted! If it goes one level further, you guessed it..... THREE HUNDRED MILLION PEOPLE!!!


Again, all You have to do is send this to 10 people. That's all. (If you don't understand how we can reach 300 million and all you have to do is send this to 10 people.... Well, let's face it, you just aren't a mathematician. But I am ... so trust me on this one.)


How long would all that take? If each of us sends this e-mail out to ten more people within one day of receipt, all 300 MILLION people could conceivably be contacted within the next 8 days!!! I'll bet you didn't think you and I had that much potential, did you! Acting together we can make a difference.


If this makes sense to you, please pass this message on. PLEASE HOLD OUT UNTIL THEY LOWER THEIR PRICES TO THE $1.30 RANGE AND KEEP THEM DOWN. THIS CAN REALLY WORK.

Dumb Web Pages... Chapter 2

Look at this one!

"...One of OPEC's primary missions is to achieve stable oil prices, which are fair and reasonable for producers and consumers."

What, exactly, do they consider "fair?"

Dumb Web Pages

I've noticed that there are a lot of web sites out there that make no sense. 'Sites that just waste valuable space that could be used for advertising, or spyware, or whatever... Cruel Music, of course, is NOT one of these wastes of space... But, anyway, I'm on a mission. I'm going to search for some crazy web sites. I'll post my results here, on the Blog section. And, since many of these sites won't be around much longer, I'll copy some of the text here, too. So, here is today's big winner:

"Work out your anger. Books by Corbie may be good for a break from life, but burning
excess energy by cleaning the house or taking a walk will leave you in a better state
of mind. Then when you are ready to relax, Corbie will be there waiting for you.
Losing yourself in a good book will clear your mind, just as physical work cleared
your anger."

What the crap is that all about?! And, who on Earth was I thinking about when I conducted such a search with Yahoo? Hmmm...