Is there anything in your room that reminds you of the past memories?
Well, yeah. I've been in this bedroom for 13 years, basically.
Can you recall the last time you loved someone?
What kind of stupid question is that?! Is this survey for people who have Alzheimer’s, or something?! Well... I seem to remember that I loved someone back before the Korean War...
So, whats going on with you and the last person you kissed?
Well, we've been together for 3 and a half years, rather happily, and I knocked her up back in May.
Have you ever kissed anyone whose name started with a, k, t, c, j, s, r, m, n?
Shut up!
Do you believe exes can be friends?
Not really. It's too awkward.
Do you eat breakfast daily?
Why wouldn't I?!
When you and your friends are out and about do you usually get dirty looks?
Always.
The last person you kissed hates you. Why?
I didn't hear about this. Are you sure you're not just hearing some rumor, or something?
Is there anyone you couldn't live without?
My soul mate, my baby girl, my sweet angel, and my Denise.
Who were you with the last time you went to the movie theater?
Baby Girl. "2012." Awesome!
What do you usually do when the clock turns 11:11?
Scream to the top of my lungs, and then say a little prayer that I'll live to see it turn to 11:12.
Do you think someone misses you?
Like, right this minute? I mean, yeah, while I'm at work, but I don't know about right now, because I'm here.
Do you love where you live?
What do you think? I've been here for 32 years!
What were you doing 12 AM last night?
I think that's just a little personal. You should be ashamed of yourself for asking something like that!
Who was the last person you had a phone conversation for more than 20 minutes?
"10," of course. She's the only person who can talk on a phone for 18 hours a day, and never get tired of it.
Would you go out in public looking like you do now?
I do it every day.
Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now?
Yeah, but it'll be a threesome. Heh.
Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?
I have it on good authority to know that there is not a single person living in the world today, other than me, who was born on November 25th.
How do you feel right now?
My back hurts.
Does any part of your body hurt right now?
I feel fine.
Are you a mean person?
When people are mean to me.
Have you ever had a really big fight with a best friend?
No. You?
Is there someone you'd like to fix things with?
No. You?
Are you social?
Yeah, it's weird, I'm a totally different person than I was, like, 6 years ago.
What was the first thing you did when you woke up?
Kissed Baby Girl.
Is life good?
Good, good, good!
If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
It wouldn't matter, because I'm with my soul mate.
Ever kissed a brown eyed person?
Every day since May 6th, 2006.
Is there someone you wish you were still close with?
I'm as close as can be expected, I guess, under the circumstances.
Do you like the snow?
As long as I don't have to drive in it.
Is your bed comfortable?
No, it's not.
Does it bother you when someone lies to you?
Does it bother you when someone flicks water in your eyes?!
Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn't do?
We were constantly getting blamed for things we didn't do when we were little. The things we actually did no one ever found out about, but everything else they were like, "It was Junebug, Roger, and Nathan!" Heh.
Is there something that has happened when you were younger that you really hate talking about?
I fell in a well one time, and this dog, "Ginger," had to rescue me. Every time I start to talk about it I get really emotional.
Let's test your memory, what color shirt were you wearing during your last kiss?
That would be the red one that I'm wearing right now... Seriously, is this a survey for people who have Alzheimer’s Disease?!
Have you ever kissed two people in one night?
...Or maybe this is, like, a teenager survey, or something... Like, "Do you remember the last person you held hands with?" "Is it true that Billy has koodies?"
Has anyone ever cheated on you?
No.
How long does it take you to fall asleep at night?
Usually around 30-45 seconds. No joke.
Let's be honest have you ever played someone?
Checkers, Tic Tac Toe, I've played a few games with people, actually.
Are you a naturally happy person or is it forced?
I'm happy for 16 hours every day. Then, I'm at work for the other 8.
Describe the shirt you're wearing:
It's red, and it's a sweat shirt, and it's got my store's logo on the upper left corner.
Is there anyone who could make your day if they showed up to see you?
Probably. I get excited every time I see anyone at work, so I can get my mind off working for a minute or two.
What do you think of fourteen year old's having sex?
I think that's, like, about 6 years too late by today's standards.
Do you think you'll be married by the time your 25?
I wasn't, and neither should you.
Do you open up to a lot of people?
Not unless I'm forced to.
Would you rather have long or short hair?
Hair. Period. Just hair.
Are you tired right now?
I'm always tired.
You kissed someone today?
Like, 700 times.
Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Worth what?
Is there that one guy/girl that you'll always have feelings for no matter what?
For all eternity.
Last night, did you go to sleep smiling?
I'll have to rewind the security tapes, and see. Hold on a minute...
Do you have a bad temper?
Not unless someone makes it that way.
