As you all know, I've been on a quest to find love for quite some time now. I started out the conventional way, by just asking girls out. I didn't have any luck there, so I turned to online dating services. Wouldn't you know it, I didn't have any luck there either, so I've come full-circle, and started asking again. Still no luck... But, I figured I shouldn't let this sort of thing get me down. So, I've decided to amuse myself by collecting girls' excuses. Now, here is a collection of some of my all-time favorite rejections:
* "I've got to go to the library."
* "I don't have time."
* "I have a boyfriend."
* "I can't. I'm getting ready to move to Huntington."
* "You're too old for me."
* "You're too young for me (this particular girl ended up seeing one of my former friends, who is 4 years YOUNGER than me. Go figure, eh?)."
And, then, there were two girls who didn't even give any excuses:
* One girl said yes, and acted like she wanted to go out with me, but when I went to pick her up, she ran away from me! True story.
* And finally, and probably the most painful one ever, was the one who was a friend for, like, a year and a half, but just stopped talking to me (and pretending like she didn't even know me!) after I asked her out.
So, yeah... It sucks to be me. I've yet to find a girl who has the guts to just come right out, and tell me the truth, though: "You're a hideous freak, and I wouldn't go out with you if you were the last man on the planet!" So, here's my challenge. If I ever hear that response (the truthful one), I will give the girl who says it $1,000 cash.
